Easter egg hunt at cemetery elicits anger from visitor to veterans’ section
When Suzy Barnhart pulled into Chapel Lawn Memorial Gardens to visit her late fiance, a military veteran, she was greeted by a female employee wearing bunny ears.
“Are you here for the Easter egg hunt?” the woman said.
Barnhart was stunned. An Easter egg hunt at a cemetery?
“I’m beyond livid,” Barnhart told me March 20 after she left the Schererville, Indiana, cemetery. This is the most disrespectful, unethical thing I can think of.”
Barnhart went on to visit her loved one’s gravesite. She didn’t stay long.
“I couldn’t focus,” she said. “This is just awful, and very hurtful to me.”
On her way out of the cemetery, she shared her opinion with workers at the entranceway and later with cemetery management. Barnhart also shared her feelings on her Facebook page.
“We need to speak up,” she wrote. “People seem to have lost common sense, respect and honor.
“Not only am I hurt (and angry), but I hurt for other families and for our country that this seems to be appropriate. What would be next if we don’t speak up, a Halloween party?”
I’ve visited Chapel Lawn many times for funerals, burials or ceremonies.
The cemetery property includes a beautiful veterans’ section, the Garden of Freedom, for members of the military, complete with a replica of the Liberty Bell.
My initial reaction to Barnhart’s description of this Easter egg hunt envisioned hundreds of kids and families scrambling over veterans’ graves to gobble up colored eggs and chocolate candies. This isn’t what took place that day, or any day.
“No one ever exited their vehicles or trampled over graves at the cemetery. Nothing of that nature whatsoever,” said Jessica Coleman, a spokesperson for Chapel Lawn. “There were zero Easter eggs in the actual cemetery gardens or sections where we have loved ones laid to rest.”
In fact there were no eggs of any kind. There were 23 posterboard cutouts of Easter eggs attached to light poles or roadside signs within the property. Each cutout had a letter for a scavenger hunt word sheet for kids to fill out, with Easter baskets awarded as prizes.
“All participants, 27 families, stayed in their vehicles, using a cemetery map to find scavenger hunt clues along the roadside,” Coleman said. “Some of the families later called the cemetery with positive feedback.
“One family told us that their daughter got to participate in this event and then visit her daddy who’s buried there.”
Coleman has been organizing similar public events for 10 years and has never received such a complaint.
“This is the first one,” Coleman said. “We appreciate Suzy’s feedback, but we really try to destigmatize for the community that cemeteries are not only a somber place.”
Coleman would know. She was married at a cemetery.
“Where my grandparents are buried,” she said. “They weren’t alive to attend my wedding, but they were there with me in spirit.”
For centuries, cemeteries have been “special public gathering places,” Coleman said. These days, cemetery properties across the country host charitable events, including 5K races, classic car shows, trunk-or-treat events for kids and carriage rides in the snow.
“These bring people out to a place that is normally uncomfortable, and it makes them feel more comfortable,” Coleman said. “It also allows them to connect with other community members for a good cause.
“I don’t think this is something that Suzy has seen before or something she expected that day. She was taken off guard.”
Barnhart told me a cemetery is no place for such events of any kind, especially anywhere near a veterans’ section. Her late fiance, David Travis Harper, has been buried at the Garden of Freedom since 1993. He was 20 years old when he died.
“An Easter egg hunt shouldn’t be in a cemetery, a place of respect to visit loved ones, and where the remains of patriotic veterans lay,” she said.
Barnhart reached out to local lawmakers as well.
“I respectfully ask for help, perhaps even in reaching out to veteran organizations and associations to restore respect and dignity for those who have given us the ultimate sacrifice,” she wrote in letters. “What else can be done to assure this level of disrespect doesn’t happen again, in particular toward our veterans?”
She also attached the decorum policy for Arlington National Cemetery in Virginia.
“It seems it should be universal,” she wrote.
Arlington’s decorum policy states, “Because certain acts … are not appropriate in the Cemetery, all visitors, including persons attending or taking part in memorial services and ceremonies, shall observe proper standards of decorum and decency while within the Cemetery grounds.”
Barnhart believes this doesn’t include hosting an Easter event with a scavenger hunt, goodie bags and Easter baskets as prizes for kids.
“What in the world has America come to when you have an Easter egg hunt in a cemetery?” she said.
Chapel Lawn’s website states, “We are available not only during times of grief, but also during times of joy. We invite families we have served, as well as Schererville and surrounding communities, to events throughout the year.”
Personally, I’m not outraged or offended by the Easter event at Chapel Lawn, or other public events at cemeteries. But I don’t have a military veteran loved one who’s buried there.
For a follow-up column, I will share how readers feel about this topic.
I asked Coleman if Chapel Lawn would be ending this event after Barnhart’s complaint.
“No, we will not,” Coleman replied. “We have nothing to be ashamed of.”