Grouchy grandpa derails airport run

DearAmy: Recentlymy daughter-in-lawaskedmy wife to drive her and her two little kids to the airport (100 miles away) using our car.

Mind you, the daughterin-lawhas a brand-new $50,000 SUV, butwanted my wife to drive our car to the airport.

Thiswould leave me without a car to drive in case I needed it.

The daughter-in-law didn’t offer to let me use her car whilemy wifewas doing this favor for her.

So I took off in our car the morning of the trip to go shopping and do some errands.

I toldmy wife to drive the daughter-in-law’s car, as it is newer, safer and with all the newest gadgets for safety for the kids, etc.

Nowthe daughter-inlawandmy wife aremad at me because she had to use her car to get to the airport.

I feel she is selfish and taking advantage ofmy wife and our car!

Should I have to pay for wear and tear onmy car so the daughter-in-lawcan keep her new expensive SUV without using it?

Nobody is listening to me, so I am looking for a third party toweigh in.

— Rightful Owner

Dear Owner: Well, you mightwant to keep looking for another opinion, because, inmy opinion, what you didwas really obnoxious.

Whenwas the last time you took two young children by yourself on a plane? (I’m guessing, never.) The morning of a trip like this is extremely stressful. Your passive-aggressive behavior really threw a spanner into the proceedings.

Your daughter-in-law and your wife had made an arrangement that you didn’t like, and so, rather than talk to them both about it and staking your (rightful) claim to your own family’s car, you simply took it, leaving them to scramble on the morning of the trip.

I amassuming that your daughter-in-lawmight have been nervous about your wife driving her new, powerful, unfamiliar vehicle alone on theway back fromthe airport. It’s not just that designer SUVs are expensive, but aBMWand a Buick are distinctly different vehicles to operate.

Regardless of your DIL’s reasoning, I do agree with you in a basic sense about the use of the cars.

I completely agree with them, however, about your behavior. Badly done.

DearAmy: I have a friend who vastly overstates her life and professional qualifications. She isn’t applying for a job, so no harm done, but she talks all the time about this and that thing, which I knownever happened (because Iwas there).

I feel co-opted if I keep silent. However, I do not knowhowto respond without getting into futile arguments. She seems absolutely resolved to maintain these fictions.

Can you help me figure out what to do?

— It’s a Friendship, not a Resume

Dear Friendship: If your friend’s constant dissembling makes you feel like a stooge, then tell her. You should absolutely correct the record if her story involves you, directly.

Understand, however, that some people exaggerate to the extent that they actually hold onto a different truth. They create a story in order to be more entertaining, memorable, and to feed a needy ego.

True friends are both tolerant and truthful regarding behavior that has a direct impact on them. During a reflective moment, you could tell her, “We often remember the same event very differently. I’d like to remind you that I think you are enough, just as you are.”

DearAmy: I have a reassuring comment for the person signing her letter, “NeverWrite Anything YouWouldn’tWant Published.” She had written some steamy love letters to her ex and nowwanted them back.

I amhandlingmy deceased ex-partner’s estate, and anyone who does this has no time to read old love letters. These letters will be given a glance, but unless you are a famous person, theywon’t be read, but simply shredded. (I have just shredded 24 boxes of papers.)

She should also consider that since her loverwas never married, maybe she was the love of his life. Maybe at the end of his life, he is rereading these letters, dreaming of her.

— Exhausted

Dear Exhausted: This is a huge job to assume, on behalf of an ex. Good for you.