Phils’ only hope? Trade for Trout
The Phillies are about to embark on a season that will ultimately result in failure.
They will not make the playoffs for a sixth straight season. The best you can hope for is somewhere between 74-78 wins.
You’ll get annoyed hearing the broadcasters drool over Freddy Galvis because he’s a strong defender and, well, he hit 20 homers last year so he’s got to be good. But you’re smarter than that.
You’ll want to bang your head against the wall as Clay Buchholz labors through five subpar innings every fifth day.
You’ll question why Proven Closer Jeanmar Gomez is still pitching the ninth inning while the better guy with closer stuff, Hector Neris, is stuck in the eighth.
You’ll wonder why Pete Mackanin starts 30-somethings Howie Kendrick and Michael Saunders every day, while Aaron Altherr rides the bench.
You’ll roll your eyes at another article about Aaron Nola’s struggles. Don’t worry, he’s fine.
You’ll get angry when J.P. Crawford is tearing through Triple-A in his age-22 season, but never gets the call because that stinking Galvis, with his sub-.300 onbase percentage, is standing in the way.
By the way, did Mike Schmidt really say Maikel Franco can win MVP? In baseball? Can we first teach Franco how to have consistently productive at-bats? (Oh, you’ll also learn this year that Franco will never be a star.)
You’ll wonder when Jimmy Rollins and Ryan Howard sign one-day contracts and retire together … and that will be great to see.
And after this year, Phillies fans, you’ll wonder what it will take to sign Bryce Harper and trade for Mike Trout after the 2018 season.