HOPE & RECOVERY
Former addict shares story of his struggle with Delco inmates:
CONCORD » Sitting before
65 prisoners in a non-descript room with a Big Book by his side, Upper Darby native Michael DiMaio told it like it is.
“We’re not bad people trying to get good,” the former alcohol, cocaine and benzodiazepine addict told his audience at Delaware County’s prison. “We’re sick people trying to get well — you can recover.”
DiMaio was speaking at the prison as part of its PREP I and PREP II substance abuse treatment programs, two of dozens of wellness programs from GED classes to cross fit to female self-esteem groups offered at the 1,800-prisoner facility, aimed at helping people improve their lives while trying to combat recividism and other related issues such as addiction.
Tiffany Johnson, the GEO Group coordinator who oversees the PREP programs, spoke of why the company overseeing the prison’s daily operations invited DiMaio to speak about his experience.
“Everybody’s affected,” she said of drug addiction, “so I wanted him to share his hope with these guys.”
DiMaio, 48, said he wanted to share his story to help reduce the stigma of drug addiction in an attempt to help stem the tide that killed 65,000 Americans last year alone.
Growing up in a family of five with a stay-athome mom who took Black Beauties and a father who worked in the automotive industry, DiMaio said, “I always felt different than the other kids.”
He recalled being angry and fighting a lot, even as a child, feelings that continued through high school.
DiMaio talked about going to his first dances at Monsignor Bonner High School.
“I wouldn’t talk to the girls,” he said. “I wouldn’t dance.”
At one point, a friend gave him some Crown Royal.
“I remember feeling at ease,” DiMaio said. “I felt at peace.”
The addiction had set in. He would drink on Fridays and Saturdays and Sunday through Thursday, he’d spend his time thinking about drinking on the weekends.
He went into the military and was honorably discharged due to an injury.
“I feel like I let my country down,” DiMaio said. “I feel like I let my family down.”
At the time, the 1980s, cocaine was a fad and he joined it. From 1989 to
2003, he was in and out of
11 rehabs and 14 detoxes. “Every time I went to treatment, I was really desperate,” DiMaio said. “I really wanted recovery.”
But, then, it was followed by a six- to eight-month binge.
Although he couldn’t keep a job, he worked as an electrician and in 2001, he fell off a ladder. After getting his knee replaced, he was prescribed oxycontin.
That was followed by a 10-year binge and various arrests for DUI and simple assault.
“I was a lunatic,” he said. “Once I got arrested, I couldn’t stop getting arrested.”
He recalled throwing a brick through an ex-girlfriend’s window and threatening to burn her home down while she and her children slept.
His first arrest, he said, was in 2004 in West Philadelphia for drug possession. He was forced to stay in an overcrowded holding cell, where he used his hoodie as a pillow and the toilet was overflowing.
“When I get out of here, this is it,” he said at the time. “I’m done.”
When he got out, he headed to a bar at 62nd and Market streets, made a call to someone he knew and he was back into his old habits.
“I lived to use,” DiMaio said. “I used to live ... If I had $20 and it was between me getting high or feeding my son, you know what went out ... and I’m not proud of that.”
By 2011, DiMaio had gotten fired from another job, had his truck repossessed, had been kicked out of the basement he was living in and his girlfriend overdosed and died that April after they had gone on a three-day binge.
“I blamed her death on me,” he said. “I was hopeless, I was helpless and I was completely desperate.”
More alcohol and drugs followed with periods of blackouts.
By 2013, he was drinking a half-gallon of vodka every other day. He’d mix 3 oz. of Gatorade with 7 oz. of vodka and on Sept. 7, 2013, he ran out of vodka.
“I lived to use. I used to live ... If I had $20 and it was between me getting high or feeding my son, you know what went out ... and I’m not proud of that.”
— Upper Darby native Michael DiMaio
He blacked out and remembered awakening at a bar, where a shot and a beer were placed before him.
He asked himself, “What are you doing here, Mike? When are you going to change your life?”
He blacked out again and woke up Sept. 8 not remembering anything but those questions. He looked up Alcoholics Anonymous.
“Mentally, spiritually and emotionally, I was bankrupt,” he said, adding he was sent to a meeting that happened to be a women’s meeting where a woman named Pat gave him a copy of “Alcoholics Anonymous,” known as the Big Book and her number.
“If they see you are serious about recovery, people will help you,” DiMaio said.
After going to AA meetings every day that week, sometimes multiple times a day, by Sept. 12, Bowling Green Brandywine Treatment Center called him. In two hours, a driver was at his house.
Even with that, he struggled to accept his condition.
“I didn’t want to believe that I had a disease,” DiMaio said.
Throughout life, he felt that God hadn’t been there for him but he learned to accept his condition and to find a power greater than himself to solve his problem.
“Trust in God and clean house,” DiMaio said.
After three months, he made a list of 2,200 people and institutions he had resentment or ill feeling towards. He spent one hour a day for six months to compile the list, learning how self and how self-centered he was, he said.
“I got to look at myself,” he said. “When you work the steps, you’re able to let go and let God.”
This evaluation also led him to look at how he had participated in relationships.
“How many of us dated women with children and we went through their lives like tornadoes?” he said, adding that he spent two and a half years refraining from relationships while he worked on his recovery and learning to have a relationship with himself. “I dealt with my past. Now, I can deal with my present. I’m not carrying that sack around with me.”
He added, “I believe the steps can change your life.”
At the age of 45, he signed his first lease. He’s a paralegal student at Bucks County Community College, is a member of the National Honor Society and has an internship at a Philadelphia law firm and at the Bucks County Public Defenders’ Office.
“My life is completely
“My life is completely different. I went from not really having a place in life ... All I wanted was to stop drugs and alcohol. I had no idea how much my life was going to change. Things will happen beyond your wildest dreams.”
— Upper Darby native Michael DiMaio
different,” he said. “I went from not really having a place in life ... All I wanted was to stop drugs and alcohol. I had no idea how much my life was going to change. Things will happen beyond your wildest dreams.”
During his sharing, the prisoners intently paid attention to his words.
Gary “Gypsy” Mitchell, a 66-year-old recovering crack cocaine addict serving time for a probation violation of possession and retail theft teared up during the presentation.
“The most important word I got out of your story was willingness,” Mitchell said. “It’s up to me, the willingness.”
Antonio Holland, serving a 9 to 23-month sentence for retail theft, said he was inspired by DiMaio’s recovery.
“I think his story was great because I love what he was able to accomplish,” Holland said. “I don’t want to be 58 years old behind bars. I’m going to get it. I’ve got to have it ... I want to do for myself what he’s done for himself.”
“I think his story was great because I love what he was able to accomplish. I don’t want to be 58 years old behind bars. I’m going to get it. I’ve got to have it ... I want to do for myself what he’s done for himself.”
— Inmate Antonio Holland