Remember the importance of taking risks

To the Times:

Enough with this “good job” stuff young parents are using so often in their hope of building self-confidence in their young children. I was watching my youngest grandson in a preLittle League baseball game last season. One little guy stood at home plate. His father pitched him a slow ball which miraculously hit his son’s bat. The kid froze for a second to decide which route to take. Finally, he

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ran toward first after initially running toward third. The”good jobs” were voiced in profusion, coming from his father, the coach on first base, and the bevy of supporting fans in the stands.

It got me thinking that maybe I would have had more confidence if my own old man would have uttered buon lavoro (good job) a few times in my direction. The closest that I received that accolade occurred when

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I came to his rescue while he was perched atop a high ladder doing a paint job on second floor windows. I was to go to the paint store, buy a gallon of white primer paint and a stick stirrer as quickly as possible. He dropped a crumbled five dollar bill to me as my older brother stood guard holding the shakey wooden ladder and steering pedestrians clear. I accomplished the chore in record breaking time, never dropping

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610.622.8887 the paint and not forgetting the stirring stick. There was about sixteen cents left in change which he told me to keep. Sixteen cents in 1948 had to be the equivalent of a few bucks today.

Good parenting, of course, requires that we try always to create situations where young people can gain self-assurance, but let’s make sure that when we deliver reassuring words they are based on events

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and situations which truly warrant praise. Let’s keep trophies which only indicate participation off the mantlepiece.

This is a crazy world we live in today, and it throws curve balls more often than slow pitches. A kid’s real sense of himself and his ability to take risks and meet challenges need to be based upon a confidence he or she has derived from achievements which truly deserved a “good job response.” Let’s never forget that the good job approach might work better on training one’s dog than it does on training a son or daughter.

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