Grudges we hold work against us

To the Times:

I love banana pudding! It’s my all-time favorite dessert. It’s comfort food. But too much of it isn’t healthy. There are some people who become our favorite targets of hate and bitterness, and in some insane way, our hatred and bitterness towards them gives us comfort. But no matter how comforting, hate and bitterness are never healthy.

I’ve realized something in my old age, the hatred and the bitterness we bare against others, such grudges actually works against us.

The negative energy, the emotional stamina, and the commitment and concentration it takes to maintain a hateful and bitter grudge are emotionally and spiritually exhausting. And the collateral stress involved with harboring hate and bitterness has negative physical effects on the body.

According to the world renowned Mayo Medical Clinic, here are a few negative and nasty effects of harboring hateful-bitter-unforgiving grudges:

*You bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience.

*You become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can’t enjoy the present.

*You become depressed or anxious.

*You feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you’re at odds with your spiritual beliefs.

*You lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others.

Holding on to hateful bitter grudges can morph into a self-protective strategy. Our hate and bitterness becomes our impenetrable coat of armor to shield us from the vulnerability of expressing a genuine forgiving spirit towards those we hate.

The Mayo Medical Clinic cites the following regarding forgiveness, “Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for improved health and peace of mind. Forgiveness can lead to: Healthier relationships; Improved mental health; Less anxiety, stress and hostility; Lower blood pressure; Fewer symptoms of depression; A stronger immune system; Improved heart health; and Improved self-esteem.”

Forgiveness releases the burdensome responsibility of carrying the weight of unnecessary hate and bitterness in our life. The targets of our hate may never change for the better, but we can take responsibility to intentionally make the corrective changes in our own lives to live a more happier, healthier, and productive stress free life. Happier lives that brings us great joy and comfort, like the overwhelming good feeling I get from eating banana pudding.