McCaffery: Dysfunctional critics take shot at Eagles
For the first time in four years, the Eagles failed to make the playoffs. That’s all it took for Jeffrey Lurie to be assaulted by that oddly spelled and purposely vague word that has become a modern weapon for the ever-critical.
Dysfunctional.
That’s it.
His operation was labeled as dysfunctional. Run. Hide. Be ashamed. Not unlike being called “tone deaf,” the dysfunction insult has surfaced as the ace of trump of sports-accusation pinochle. It can’t be beaten. Once that word is in print, it a pass for any talk-show host or print columnist to brandish it for days, for weeks and, if necessary, for years.
No wonder they missed that field goal. They’re dysfunctional.
They finished a game out of first place? Of course. They’re dysfunctional.
The parking lot line is too long, the concession prices too high, the 95thround draft choice injured? It’s because that is one clearly dysfunctional organization. What? Are you tone deaf or something?
The Eagles were lousy in 2020. Their coach quit on the team in Week 17. The players were about to quit on him. The firstround draft choice wasn’t great. The so-anointed franchise quarterback turned the ball over too often. With that, the hunt was on. With that, anonymous voices would be invited to do their thing. With that, a complex mystery could be solved with four syllables.
But Jeffrey Lurie’s teams have gone 224-1742, have been to the playoffs 13 times, have been to two Super Bowls and won the whole thing in 20172018. Too late for that now, though.
A simple computer search of “sports, dysfunctional” provides a smorgasbord of victims. The Indianapolis Colts. The Chicago Bulls. The Packers were in there. The Colorado Rockies, for, well, what did you expect? The White Sox
And did you really think the Australian national women’s field hockey team could avoid the swarm?
The list is virtually bottomless.
In pro sports, one thing matters: Results. Not draft ratings. Not salary-cap management. Not who the coach prefers to coordinate his defense. Not the owner-coach professional dynamic.
The Eagles deserved every complaint hurled high and tight at them in 2020. Just a guess, 2021 isn’t going to be any better. But they were division champions in 2019. And Howie Roseman did design a world championship team within the last four years.
For an organization alleged to be you-knowwhat, it’s not a bad way to function.
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Pickleball. If you have to ask …
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Until someone other than the head coach is permitted to approve an in-game lineup, there is little Adam Silver can do to halt the NBA-wide epidemic of superstars being given random nights off.
But there are insults, and there are insults. The second kind, the commissioner should address.
The other night at the Wells Fargo Center, Nets coach Steve Nash gave Kevin Durant the night off because he wanted the future Hall of Famer to have 48 hours between “high-intensity physical outputs.” Games, in other words.
Yet before dismissing the late-season HIPO for first place, Durant engaged in an on-court workout. Though it was not at game speed, it wasn’t casual, either. It was a sideto-side shooting drill, requiring him to move on his allegedly sore hamstring and take shot after shot, most successfully. There was no defense, but there appeared to be some sweat. He was not limping. He did not appear sore.
Since NBA arenas are still not fully open to customers, that little blast of pregame defiance was visible only to some. Yet it was visible nonetheless. And it was an insult to those who would have liked to have seen him play.
So make a ruling, and make it stick: If the injury report says a player is “out” then he must remain out of sight, too.
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Let’s get together some time and tell ghost stories.
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The Phillies were deep into a spin of major-league incompetence by the summer of 2017, but at least they had help on the way. All it took, or so it was said, was a trip to the Lehigh Valley for look-see at a stash of stars-to-be.
There was Dylan Cozens, strong, powerful.
There was Roman Quinn, speedy, intriguing.
There was J.P. Crawford, the world’s next great shortstop, a can’t-miss.
There was Rhys Hoskins, ready to be an All-Star
There was Scott Kingery, so special that before he soon would even earn a big-league at-bat he would be worth a $24 million contract.
Yep, those 2017 IronPigs were loaded. So by, say, 2021 … watch out, Atlanta Braves.
But Cozens and his one career home run is stashed somewhere in the Milwaukee organization. Kingery is back in Allentown, trying to relocate his swing. Quinn was hitting .050 for the Phils, as of Friday.
Crawford has become a regular for the Mariners, but is nothing special.
Hoskins has surfaced as a valuable Phillies hitter with some star value. But the Phillies, who still haven’t been in the playoffs since 2011, had to hit better than 1-for-5 from that Allentown stash.
What happened?
Best guess: The 2017
Pigs were dysfunctional.
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Just when we were about to learn a year behind schedule whether the best fencers sprout from Belarus or Chile, they’re threatening to cancel the Summer Olympics again.
Just our luck.