Firearms: Shoot ’em if you got ’em, but I’m just not into them
I don’t get guns. As in, I don’t understand the allure. As in, no, I don’t want to shoot one.
Believe me, I’ve had offers. Every so often I write a column like this, and people — good people, I’m sure — reach out to me and invite me to go shooting with them.
They tell me it’s an experience. They tell me it’s fun. They tell me I won’t know until I try.
Well, people have told me I’d like cottage cheese as well, and my life is no more empty for never trying that, either.
Of course, I’m writing this in light of the shooting and killing of three Michigan State students by some lunatic who grew up in Ewing, New Jersey, and who had a note in his pocket threatening Ewing High School and Fisher Middle School.
(You’ll note I’m not repeating his name here. I don’t understand why we ever print the names of these shooters. Anyway …)
Anyway, here’s hoping a note in the pocket of a mass murderer is as close as we get to a school shooting in Mercer County. Seems like a hopeful hope, don’t it?
But yes: Guns. I don’t get them. Why anyone would want to own something that has the immediate potential to kill someone is beyond my comprehension. Yes, I know, there are reasons. Let’s go through them.
1) Hunting: OK fine, if you’re a hunter, then I get it. You shoot animals with them. Deer, for instance. I’ve got no problem with you. Now granted, the idea of picking up a gun and shooting a defenseless animal is not my idea of fun, but you do you. (And yes, I am well aware I am a hypocrite, as I am also a meat-eater, but I like my killing of animals to be once-removed from me. You kill, I’ll eat. It’s a good compromise.)
2) Protection: I also get this, I guess, although it is a rare day when you read a news story about a “good guy with a gun.” Not saying it doesn’t happen, not saying if I’m ever in a position where a gun could come in handy I’ll probably feel stupid for not having one, but still: There are a lot of good guys, there are a lot of guns, but that Venn diagram doesn’t usually intersect.
3) I’m running out of reasons. 4) Second Amendment, dude:
OK, cool, the Second Amendment. I get that as well. Although … I mean … the Second Amendment was written during a time of muskets, not automatic weapons. And — obviously — the Second Amendment is open to all kinds of interpretation. And … if you’re going to go with the strict and absolute “right to bear arms” part, it would certainly seem to indicate any American citizen would also have the right to … a howitzer? A tank? A nuclear bomb? After all, these are all “arms,” and I have a “right,” yes?
5) The bad guys have guns. Ah yes, the bad guys do have guns. You would think the best way to combat that would be to — you know — make it difficult to buy a gun, but nope. It’s easy to buy a gun in America. As a result, there are tons of guns floating around the country. In fact, there are more guns than there are people who live here.
And until we do something about the ease of which we can get guns, and until we make a concerted effort to get illegal guns off the street, we’re going to continue to be plagued by gun violence. This isn’t rocket science. (By the way, here’s an idea: Federal law that states the following: Get caught with an illegal gun, go to prison for life. Then have a yearlong amnesty period for anyone to turn in their weapons. EZ game.)
Listen: I am not “against” guns. You want to own a gun, be my guest. I think it should be harder to purchase one — at least as hard as it is to open a sports betting account, for instance — but I’m not here to pry any guns out of anyone’s cold, dead hands.
But, at the same time, I just don’t get the appeal. Different strokes, different folks.