1. If in doubt, seek help.

Depression has increased from 8.7 percent to 11.3 percent among youth 12 to 20 years of age in the past 10 years according to research published in the November Journal of Pediatrics.

Based on the self-report of more than 175,000 adolescents, more young people are experiencing symptoms reflective of a major depressive episode. This increase was more notable among girls than boys, and more so with non-Latino whites.

Depression is not just feeling sad. This mental disorder is characterized by a loss of interest or pleasure in daily activities, feelings of sadness or irritability, significant weight loss, insomnia, loss of energy, feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt, diminished ability to concentrate, and recurring thoughts of death.

We’ve also had an increase in the rate of high school students making a suicide attempt that required medical attention. In the mid-2000s, the rate decreased to 1.9 percent of our high school population. However, in 2015, 2.8 percent of our high school students made a serious suicide attempt that required medical intervention.

Parents and professionals are grappling with two key questions — why this increase in depression is happening, and what can we do about it.

There is no answer to the first question. The experts in the Pediatrics article concluded that “The causes of the observed trends remain elusive.” There is speculation that the increase in cyber-bullying may be related to depression, but there is insufficient evidence to make a causal connection.

While we await future research, here is what you can do today.

The symptoms that I listed earlier could describe the typical behavior of most teens. Don’t overreact to normal variations in behavior, but take action if problematic behaviors persist over several weeks.

2. Don’t be afraid to ask about suicide.

In 2015, 18 percent of high school teens reported that they seriously thought about killing themselves in the previous year. Parents and others who interact with teens are apprehensive to ask kids about these feelings. They are concerned that they may inadvertently “put thoughts in their heads” or are afraid of what to say or do if teens voice feelings about selfharm.

Your teen may misinterpret your silence as a lack of concern. If your teen admits to such feelings, communicate caring and support and connect with a mental health professional.

3. Promote resiliency.

We need to work harder in preparing our kids for life. At an early age, allow children to fail, solve their own problems, and learn how to deal with anger and frustration. Foster a sense of gratitude and appreciation for what kids have, rather lamenting what they don’t. Work hard at promoting your teen’s independence and problem-solving skills.

Gender stereotypes

Next Week: Dear Heloise:

We suddenly noticed a bunch of spiders and their webs around our home - way more than just an occasional one. Why are they invading our home, and what can we do to get rid of them?

Florida — Alice from

The reason why those spiders have come inside is because they are looking for something to eat, like moths, flies and other pests. While spiders can be good because they eat pests, they can be creepy inside your space. So clean your home thoroughly. Vacuum up the webs, and get rid of all egg cases by putting them in the trash and then taking out the trash. Be sure to dust corners and behind furniture often and anywhere else you have seen webs. Also, check around the outside of your home to get rid of any debris and brush webs from spaces outside where spiders might like to hang

Dear Heloise:

My son brought home a pizza, and of course, put the box on a wood table. The heat left a white ring on it. I wasn’t upset because I had saved your hint on how to deal with it. I made my son help in the process. We mixed equal parts of nongel white toothpaste with baking soda. We dipped a damp cloth into the mixture and gently rubbed until the marks were gone. Then we buffed the surface. My son has learned his lesson.

email — Marie, via Dear Heloise:

We drink a lot of coffee, and I hate to throw out the used grounds. Is there anything else I can do with them?

Mary, via email —

Yes, you can use them around the house. Grab a margarine tub and poke holes into the lid. Scoop the grounds into it and secure the lid on top. Place this in the refrigerator and it will help to absorb smells. Add the used grounds to a container next to the kitchen

Dear Heloise:

I noticed that all the throw pillows on the couch in my den smelled stale and were a bit dusty. So I put a couple into the dryer on the air cycle, along with a fabric softener sheet, for several minutes. It did the trick. They were refreshed and looked better.

via email — Diane,