4 ways parents can cope with gender stereotypes
In a speech to elementary school children in Florida, NFL star quarterback Jameis Winston advised boys in the audience to be “strong,” and the girls “are supposed to be silent, polite, gentle.”
These gender stereotypes begin before birth and continue through childhood. Infants are treated differently, according to their gender, and this pattern persists through childhood. Toys and clothes are generally gender specific. Some of these stereotypes are harmless. Winston’s comments are not.
Kids’ develop these selfperceptions early in life according to a recently published study in the journal Science. That’s bad news for parents of both boys and girls.
The scientists tested youngsters from 5 to 7 years of age. Children were read a story and then asked to identify a character that was “really, really smart.” The 5-year-olds generally selected persons of their own gender. Girls identified female characters as intelligent, while boys selected male characters.
However, the results were different with 6- and 7-year-olds. Boys continued to select male characters as brilliant, but girls changed their opinion, more likely to select male than female individuals as intelligent.
In similar studies conducted by researchers Lin Bian and her colleagues, girls’ interests in games “for children who are really, really smart” decreased at around ages 6 and 7.
What’s troublesome about these findings is the harmful impact of girls’ misperceptions of their abilities. If they perceive themselves as less intelligent, will they be more likely to avoid difficult tasks or certain subjects in school?
Here’s what parents can do.
1. Be careful of your language.
Avoid labeling activities as specific to a particular gender. Your words and behavior have a powerful impact.
2. Expose your children, both boys and girls, to a variety of activities.
Take your child’s lead in what interests them. Don’t be concerned if your son is interested in traditionally feminine activities or your daughter enjoys boyish toys.
I think the underlying fear is that by allowing kids to express their interests in non-traditional gender activities you may influence their sexual orientation or identity. It won’t.
Our kids deserve more than the rigid gender stereotyping that was prevalent in previous years. Advocate on your children’s behalf so that they can explore activities without ridicule.
3. Speak up. 4. Stay on message.
Your children’s achievements are related to their talent, hard work, and selfcontrol. Those attributes are not specific to a gender, so be careful of dismissing behavior because “he is all boy,” or making a remark that “girls have more problems with math.” Differences in performance are not caused by gender, but by other factors.
Dear Readers:
Green plants can make a room feel warmer, as well as help clean the air a little. One of my favorite and easy-to-care-for plants is any type of ivy. You can put some cuttings directly in water and grow roots that way. Do add a little plant food if you have some.
When it’s time to give these plants a little “haircut,” I trim long vines back a lot. Don’t panic! The ivy will grow back, usually fuller.
The beauty of ivy and its easy care is that you can almost ignore it for a while, and it will still survive! Most ivy is almost impossible to kill, even with very little care or attention.
Bonus Heloise hint: If you need “greenery” for a fresh flower arrangement, cut off some ivy and stick it in the vase. This is a “two-for” hint no-cost greenery for the bouquet, plus the ivy will start growing roots, so you will get another
Dear Heloise
:My daughter loves wearing lipstick and inevitably it ends up on her bath towels. What’s the best way to get it off ?
email — Barbara, via
Take these steps: First, pour rubbing alcohol (7090 percent) on a paper towel and lay it down on a nonporous surface. Then put the bath towel on top with the lipstick stain down. Pour rubbing alcohol on a second paper towel and press the lipstick stain so it transfers to the first paper towel. Keep