3. You’ll think I’m bad.

or cheated or an exam, what would you do? You want to encourage their openness, but at some point you also have to correct their misbehavior. Those rules don’t apply to a therapy session.

Your children love you. They are fearful that by being honest, you’ll realize they are not always what they appear. They don’t want to disappoint you and lose your love.

4. I don’t want to hurt your feelings.

Kids don’t want to upset you. If they talk to you about how your marital arguments cause them incredible anxiety, you might start crying and get upset.

The good news is that when kids gradually open up to their parents about some small issues, they come back and tell me “it worked.” Their fears were typically unfounded, and they get closer to their family. That’s what therapy is all about.

Next week:

Are martial arts programs harmful to aggressive children?

Dear Readers:

When you are talking to your children about emergencies that can happen in the home and what they should do, it is essential to teach them more specifically about danger signals, like the sound of a fire alarm, a smoke detector and other warning signs inside and outside the home. Show children how to call 911 for assistance. Help smaller kids to memorize family names, addresses and phone numbers. For older children, program emergency and family numbers into cellphones. —

Heloise Dear Readers:

A reader shared a story about celebrating the life of a beloved family member, Rocco, an outgoing golden retriever who passed away recently. He was very popular in her neighborhood, so she made a cake that looked like him and invited family and friends to a party to remember him. Everyone