Bridezilla’s outrageous demands alienate relatives
Dear Abby: I ama bridesmaid formy brother’s upcoming wedding. However, his fiancee is throwing out some crazy mandates for the big day.
1. All familymembers must wear contact lenses. Glasses will not be allowed because they look ugly in pictures.
2. Shemademy father get dental work to “improve his smile.”
3. I recently toremy ACL, and she says I can’t bring crutches to the ceremony because she doesn’t want themin the pictures.
Howmuchmore of this should our family put up with? I love her as my niece’s mother, but not as my future sister-in-law. Would it be better to tell themIwon’t be a bridesmaid? I am afraid to speak up because I want a relationship with my niece. — Afraid of Bridezilla
Dear Afraid: Your brother’s fiancee appears to have gone off the deep end. Weddings are supposed to be about love, commitment and the joining together of two families, not the photo album.
While I sympathize with her desire for a “perfect” wedding, the idea that your parents and her mother must invest in contact lenses ormiss seeing the ceremony and reception because glasses aren’t “allowed” is ludicrous. And the suggestion that you leave your crutches and risk further damaging your ACL is off the charts.
Talk to your brother. Perhaps he canmake his ladylove see the light. If not, I wouldn’t blame you — and your parents and her mother, by the way — if you decided to skip the “show.”
Dear Abby: My husband, “Jason,” and I have a 19-year-old daughter, “Laurie,” who finished her freshman year of college with a 4.0 GPA. She has always been a great student and is interested in theater, music and dance. She has NEVER given us any trouble.
My husband is very conservative and opinionated about politics. Our daughter has becomemuch more politically liberal over the last couple of years. Jason thinks it is disrespectful of her to not want to listen to himtry to influence her to think like he does (he has tried before). I have told Jason she needs to work out her own political beliefs and, as shematures and sees howthe business world works, she’ll probably become more moderate.
Jason is now insisting that we set a time when “the three of us can talk,” which means he will lecture her about where she is wrong. What can I do as a mother andwife tomediate this meeting? I think both of themare pretty dug in.
— Love ThemBoth in Arkansas
Dear Love: I see no way that what your husband has in mindwill be either pleasant or productive. However, because he is her father, Laurie owes himthe respect of hearing him out. When the conversation becomes heated — as it very wellmay — suggest a timeout until they both cool down. Or leave the roomif it becomes too stressful for you.
Good advice for everyone — teens to seniors — is in “The Anger in All of Us and How to DealWith It.” To order, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447.