When domestic violence is not shocking anymore

Dayton police Major Wendy Stiver asked a question this week that brought nearly everyone to their feet.

I will paraphrase it: have you or anyone you know been a victim of domestic violence or sexual assault?

The fact that nearly every woman and man in Sinclair Community College’s packed Ponitz Center for Artemis Center’s annual Breaking the Cycle breakfast stood up should come as no surprised.

There is a very necessary reason October is not only Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but also Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

More than 37 percent of American women and nearly 31 percent of American men have experienced sexual violence, physical violence, and/ or stalking from an intimate partner in his or her lifetime, according to the Centers for Disease Control.

Forty million adults grew up living with domestic violence in this country, the federal agency said.

Th efact that children are also victimized by the abuser in those relationship is no surprise, either.

Still, the tale Dayton police officer Wesley Mo an told during the event — which is a major fundraiser for the Artemis Center, a Dayton-based organization that provides suppor ttodo mestic violence victims and their children — probably surprised some in the room.

In a just world, it would have stunned us all.

Raised in Dayton, Moan told the crowd how his mom married his tormen- tor when he was 7 years old. Up until that point, Moan said he liked and looked up to the man.

“Th atca me to a screeching halt on the wedding night,” Moan recalled.

The new stepfather ridiculed the little boy when he cried during that first assault.

“I remember he put his fist right next to my jaw and called me a baby,” Moan said of the man who fathered his two siblings.

“Baby” wa s far from the worst insult Moan said hi s stepfather lobbed at him over the next decade, which included hair pulling, pushing, dragging and other physical vio- lence. The 1996 Carroll High School graduate didn’t repeat those words, allowing the audience to fill in the blanks.

The man said the little boy was useless; that the little boy was a waste of money and space.

A Dayton police officer since 2012, Mo an says things were worse his sixth grade year while his mom battled leukemia in aC olumbus hospital, too sick to be exposed to the common cold.

With her outofthe house for ei ghtornine months, Moan said his abuser did not have to muffle his disdain, rage or threats.

The little boy failed four classes that year.

Moan’s mom recovered and eventually sought help at Artemis for herself and he rso n.

“I could let it all out to that counselor,” Moan said about the counseling sessions.

Whenhewas15or16, Moan said his mom mustered the courage to divor ce the torturer.

Tragically Moan’s story is not uncommon.

How man yo fu s know of a similar nightmare?

How lon gwi ll those stories sadden, but neither shock nor surprise?