Girl sees red flags in her online friendship overseas
Dear Abby: Imet this guy through a dating site. We began chatting and hit it off. We talk almost every day, and have Skyped a few times. We’ve been getting closer and closer. I really like him, and he has toldme he feels the same.
The thing is, I’mnot sure if he’s tellingme the truth. We live in different countries, and for all I know, he could have a girlfriend and bemessing withme. I also don’t know how to tellmy parents. They don’t support online dating, and they don’t think I’mready for a relationship. Please help me. I’mreally confused.
— Chatting From Another Country
Dear Chatting: It is hard to keep emotions in check and think clearly when the adrenaline is pumping and our hearts are beating a mile a minute.
Because you are a minor, you have to respect your parents’ decisions until such time as they agree you’re ready for a relationship. A way to earn their trust and prove that you aremature enough would be to be honest about what you are doing and thinking, rather than sneak around hoping to slip something by them. When that time comes, finding someone closer to home, somebody you can introduce to them IN PERSON willmake your life easier. In the meantime, concentrate on school and the opportunities it provides.
Dear Abby: A good friend ofmy husband’s, “Eric,” offered us a very generous wedding present. It was something we needed in our home, and he told us he would like to build it for us. Time went on, the project was delayed andmy husband offered him numerous opportunities to back out. Each time the friend continued to support his offer. When itwas finally finished, Eric admitted it had pushed himbeyond capacity.
It has become obvious that Eric feels resentful, and now he’s holding his generosity overmy husband’s head. He recently askedmy husband to help with a project in his own home, and whenmy husband couldn’t do it that week, the conflict came to a head.
My husband has reached out trying to explain that hewants to help his friend, but he needs to plan for it. We haven’t heard back from Eric, andmy husband is very sad. I’mgood friends with Eric’s wife, and this conflict hasmade it uncomfortable for us to see each other.
I want tomediate, but it’s difficult to objectively step back and see where my husband has wronged and needs tomake amends. I realize that nothing in life is black and white, and I need an unbiased perspective on how we can move forward. — Good Friends
Dear Good Friends: I agree that few things in life are black and white, but after reading your letter, I can’t see how Eric was wronged. Your husband didn’t refuse to help with the project; he just said he couldn’t do it unless itwas scheduled in advance.
I don’t know why Eric is nursing a grudge and neither do you. Not all friendships last forever. That’s why, if you are smart, you will refrain from inserting yourself in the middle of this.
DearAbby