Learning how to lift yourself up is an invaluable life skill

When insecurity sets in, it can take away your feelings of self-worth and value in the world. Here are some tips to help get it back and to feel better about being just who you are.

Don’t try to fit in. You either do or you don’t, and you just have to find the right people, job or groove. If you are uncomfortable with a group of people or even just one person, think about why. Maybe the situation or the person is a reminder of a difficult time in your life and triggers uncomfortable feelings. That’s a normal response, but remember that the thing that upset you is over, and this new person, group of people or place is OK. You just may need a little time to get comfortable with it.

Be kind to those who have a hard time socially. It will actually help you improve your own social skills and make you feel much better about yourself. When you extend a helping hand to someone, you are changing that person’s view of the world and telling that person that this world is a friendly place.

You can achieve greatness, but what does that really mean to you? If you’re someone who seeks fame and fortune, remember that the rewards are fleeting. Research has shown that those who are very ambitious and drive n are generally less happy than their less ambitious counterparts. Unfortunately, I am in the first group, but knowing that my drive can take away from the joy of life, I work to maintain a balance, and you can too.

Spend some time with old friends. I have a friend I’ve known since we were 5 years old. Our mothers were friends, so we ended up spending a lot of our early years together. He ’sa college professor, and from time to time we give each other a call when we need a pep talk. Remembering where youc ame from. Knowing that at least some of the people who have known you forever still love you is not only heartwarming but empowering.

Dra wa positive life map. Start at your childhood and list all the good things you’ve done in your life and tha thave come your way: when you went on your first camping trip, when you got an unexpected “A” at school, your success in sports or in the arts. Your first real job needs to go on the list as well as when you were married and had children. If good things have happened before, they will happen again.

Know w hy you are loved. When my other half tells me she loves me, sometimes I ask her why, a ndshealwaysgives a thoughtful response. Knowing why you are loved can help you learn to love yourself more. Other people see our good qualities better than we do at times, so don’t let your ow nhead convince you that you’re not good enough when you’re feeling low. Listen to the people you care for and who care for you.

If deep down you know you are a good person, and you are in a rough patch, these tips will help you make it through. Learning to lift yourself upisas kill that will never let you down. Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a

psychotherapist i nWestla ke Village, Calif., is the author of "The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One

Little Loving Thing at a Time." Follow his daily insights on Twitter @BartonGoldsmith