3 things you can do to raise optimistic children

The Jan. 15 issue of Time magazine was extraordinary, in that it was primarily devoted to all the good things happening around us. Edited by Bill Gates, the articles challenge our sense that things are bad and getting worse. In fact, in many ways our world has never been better.

Reasons for optimism are omnipresent. I won’t overwhelm you with statistics, but the data are positive concerning maternal morality rate, deaths of children under 5 years of age, increased rates of vaccination, and the percentage of people living below the poverty line.

The numbers tell us that we live in the best of times. Why doesn’t it feel that way? Gates points out a few reasons. “Bad news arrives as drama, while good news is incremental — and not usually deemed newsworthy.” We read about the tragic death of a teen driver on prom night, but we don’t often hear on the news that traffic deaths for teens have decreased 340 percent in the past 35 years.

Life is partly about perceptions. Gates wrote that “….because the improvements don’t keep pace with our expectations, it can seem like things are getting worst.” Our intolerance for unmet expectations is good in a way. It motivates us to improve ourselves and society. However, there’s a downside. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and depressed, fueled by the constant and graphic media bombardment of stories about evil people and tragic events.

Raising optimistic children is a challenge. We want our children to appreciate what they have, while still striving for personal growth and societal changes.

1. Be careful of venting. It’s easy to criticize almost any situation, but extremist and persistent harangues aren’t helpful to kids. The same government that you demonize for a myriad of bad things is also responsible for an endless number of great services and programs. It’s fine to be critical, but be careful not to be overwhelmingly negative. It’s tough for a pessimistic parent to raise an optimistic child.

2. Express gratitude. Optimistic kids have a sense of appreciation for what they have, rather than complain about what they don’t. Your children imitate you. When our kids were young, we would hold hands before dinner and say something we were grateful for.

3. Manage expectations. High expectations, for ourselves or others, have the potential to propel us to action or drive us to despair. Optimistic people have a positive but realistic outlook on life. They realize that things don’t always meet their expectations. However, rather than whine about a situation, they make adjustments and move on. Make certain your kids’ expectations are reasonable, and be a role model for how to manage situations when things go awry.

Next week: YouTube is a threat to your child’s mental health

Dr. Ramey is the executive director of Dayton Children's Hospital's Pediatric Center for Mental Health Resources and can be contacted at Rameyg@childrensdayton. org. Heloise

Dear Readers: Leftovers are good for the family budget! I hate to be wasteful, so I always use leftovers to create interesting dishes. Adding new or unusual ingredients such as spices or herbs will jazz up any dish. Use stock or canned soups or bouillon to add some pizzazz to a casserole. Here are several other ideas:

■ Grind up any type of leftover meat to create a sandwich spread and add a bit of mayo and chopped leftover vegetables.

■ Toss leftover chicken, meat or veggies into a warm or cold pasta dish.

■ Dice potatoes, brown with onions, and stir in eggs for a breakfast treat.

— Heloise

Sticky hairspray

Dear Heloise: My daughters use a lot of hairspray, and it lands everywhere in the bathroom - the walls, the door and the counters. How can I remove it? — Rebecca from Louisiana

Dear Rebecca: To get rid of hairspray residue from washable surfaces, pour a bit of rubbing alcohol on a microfiber cloth, then rub, rinse and dry. Or add liquid dishwashing soap to hot water. Mix well and then dip a cloth in the foamy water. Wipe over the affected areas and rinse with another cloth dampened with plain water.

Depending on the surface, polish or wax the area to make it easier to clean the next time. — Heloise

Other uses for spice racks

Dear Readers: When you decide to replace the spice rack in your kitchen, don’t toss it out.

You can reuse it around the house.

Mount the spice rack inside a bathroom door or on a bathroom wall to hold small items. Use it in the garage to store tiny jars filled with nails or screws. Or put it in a child’s room to display small cars or toys. — Heloise

Cleaning ovens

Dear Readers: With spillovers from bubbling desserts or casseroles, an oven can get dirty fast. Take these steps to clean it: First, pull out the racks and drip pans to scrub off debris and wash in hot soapy water or soak in sudsy ammonia. If the buildup is really bad, wipe down all inside surfaces with hot, soapy water. Scrub off bits of burnedon gunk. If you have a selfcleaning oven, follow the manufacturer’s instructions.

To prevent a buildup when something spills over while baking, pour table salt on it. When the oven is cool, you will have a much quicker cleanup. Mix vinegar and water to wipe the oven window clean. — Heloise

Carpet indentations

Dear Heloise: We are rearranging the furniture in our living room, and the pieces left significant indentations in the carpet. What can I do to remove them? — Amy from California

Dear Amy: This is a common problem. Here’s how to remove them: Place an ice cube in each dent and allow the cube to melt slowly. Let the moisture remain overnight. Blot up any leftover wet spots. Then use your fingers or a spoon to pull up the carpet fibers that haven’t fluffed up. Or you can fill a clean spray bottle with a bit of water. Spritz it over the indentations. Then take a hair dryer, turned on hot, and blow the air over the dampened areas. The heat will help nylon and wool carpets to rebound. — Heloise