This car buyer may never run out of options

My wife and I are in the process of leasing a new car. Apparently it’s a proceeding that’s going to last longer than the Mueller investigation.

Selecting the make and model was easy enough. The dealer’s lot was full of cars that looked pretty much the same as the cars on every other dealer’s lot. But the devil was in the details. Because after we told the salesman which car we wanted, he handed us a list of options. If we chose all of them, I think they’d cost more than the actual price of the car, so we had to make some choices.

Some of the options were easy to decline, such as the $250 heated steering wheel. And a light which, when you open the car door, projects the manufacturer’s logo onto the garage floor. If I wanted the manufacturer’s logo on my garage floor I’d paint it there and save $234.

Color was our first real decision. Black or white came standard; other colors added at least $500. Except for something called “diamond white metallic,” which upped the price another $1,515.

There was no extra charge for 17-inch wheels, but 18-inch wheels were an additional $500. I can’t think of anything that’s worth $500 an inch.

A lot of the options came in “packages.” If we wanted the electric trunk closer, for instance, we’d have to order the “premium” package, which includes keyless go and Sirius XM satellite radio ($1,122). We probably can struggle through life without an electric trunk closer.

The salesman suggested that the exterior lighting package would be a good safety feature, because it had adaptive high beam assist and LED intelligent light system ($1,900.) I’m not sure what lights come standard. Maybe it’s a flashlight duct taped to the hood.

Another option was the multimedia package. We couldn’t understand exactly what that is and I’m not willing to pay $2,341 to find out.

After we finally settled on our options, the salesman informed us there was no car exactly like that on his lot. The only one in the entire world, in fact, was on a lot in North Carolina. We asked him to order that, but the next day he called to inform us that someone else had bought it.

Which meant, to get exactly the car we wanted, we would have to get one made from scratch, which currently is being done in Finland or Hungary or somewhere. It should only take a few months, he assured us. My guess is that by the time we get our 2019 car it will be 2025.

Because now I’m starting to think that a heated steering wheel is something we really need.