Let’s make mesothelioma great again!
When Donald Trump promised to make America great again he meant every part of it. Like mercury. You may have missed this news because of all the noise about Paul Manafort and Michael Cohen and the rest, but the Environmental Protection Agency announced recently that it is taking steps, finally, to put mercury back into our air.
You’ve probably heard that exposure to mercury is bad for your health, that it’s toxic, can damage your kidneys, decrease your intelligence and make you slur your speech. But that’s only what scientists say, and I think we all know by now that science is just part of the Deep State conspiracy.
I believe the coal producers when they promise that mercury is no biggie because they ought to know. Burning coal is a major source of atmospheric mercury and the EPA wants to make easier for them to put more of it in the air.
This comes right on the heels of another exciting step the EPA has taken to re-introduce asbestos into our lives. There is no question that the media has been consistently biased against asbestos for years and only because breathing in asbestos fibers causes mesothelioma. So what?! Even doctors admit that only 80 percent of those lung cancer cases are caused by exposure to asbestos. If you’re scared of being around asbestos, just don’t breathe. Problem solved.
You know where China is really cleaning our clocks? Air pollution. Back when America was great we had the thickest, foulest air pollution in the world. On a good day, you couldn’t even see the sky in places like Pittsburgh and Los Angeles. But after several decades of a systematic attack on it — thanks, Clean Air Act — our air pollution is weak. Weak! Look at those pictures from Beijing and Shanghai these days — people with masks, plants wilting in the parks. That’s
real air pollution for you.
Lead also became a victim of this reckless war on pollution. Lead was once part and parcel of what made America great. It was in our house paint and in our gasoline. Now good luck finding it anywhere except in the drinking water in Flint, Mich. Sure, lead poisoning can kill you but most of the neurological damage is done to kids. They’ll get over it, right?
And if you’re worried about a United Nations, One-World-Government conspiracy look no further than the once-great pesticide DDT. That stuff sure killed your backyard mosquitoes but good. It killed lots of other stuff, too, like birds and animals, and so, surprise surprise, it was banned in this country in 1972. Then it was banned internationally in 2001. But I say if you want to make an omelette you gotta break some eggs, even if they’re bald eagle eggs. If a few bald eagles have to die to keep the mosquitoes away, I say bring on the DDT!
It is easy to formulate policy when you actually know something, but it takes a man of real courage to stand up to the experts when he knows absolutely nothing. Thanks to Trump we will soon enjoy the benefits of things like mercury and asbestos. So come on, America! Let’s make mesothelioma great again!