The half life: living with dysthymia
There is a depressive condition called dysthymia. It’s a low-grade depression that comes and goes but can last a lifetime. Most days, it’s not the kind of depression that keeps you in bed for weeks on end or makes you want to kill yourself, but it can leave you feeling that you’d be better off if you weren’t here. Please trust me on this one, because I have had it all my life.
For people fighting with dysthymia, any moments of boredom or confusion usually result in self-blame and feelings of distress, until the next activity that requires critical thinking arises. This kind of depression just sort of pops up, like an annoying computer message, and your psyche has the same reaction: “I need to get rid of this annoying thing/thought.” Taking any kind of action is a tried-and-true method of distraction and usually gets your mind off your troubles, at least for a while.
Unfortunately, with dysthymia, it is hard to make a permanent correction. Depression medications are mostly for moderate-tosevere conditions. Many psychiatrists prefer to use talk therapy, supplements, and lifestyle changes as their first line of defense against this lower-grade depression. You don’t want to take stronger medication than you need, because all medications have side effects; so if your doctor recommends taking supplements, give them a try.
My dysthymia likes to try to convince me that I’m not good enough. Even though I’ve received recognition and have a comfortable lifestyle, I seldom feel accomplished or even worthy. I do know where it’s coming from (“that darn dysthymia”). And I have learned to take in the good through my brain, because eventually some of it works its way into my heart, and I start to feel better about myself and the world around me.
I also try to look at the upside. I’ve helped thousands of people with their depression, and my own personal struggle has given me a greater understanding of what is needed to get out of it. So this came with a gift: the ability, desire and knowledge to help other people feel better. Sometimes that actually makes it OK for a while.
You see, I expect that my condition will make itself known at any given moment, and because I know it is right there, lurking beneath the surface of this shy extrovert, I stay prepared and keep my psychic lightsaber handy, ready to slice and dice the negative thoughts or feelings. For me, the trick is to cut them down just as soon as they pop up. The visualization of using a lightsaber works for me (it’s also on an app available through MyCancerFighter.com).
If you are dealing with dysthymia, do not let it take you over. You can have a better life if you do a few simple things to get you back on track. First, get a proper diagnosis from a licensed professional, and don’t make the doctor guess: If you think you are dysthymic, let your physician know. Second, follow your doctor’s advice — to the letter at the start — and lastly please get therapy. Most insurance covers it these days, and there are low-fee centers at most universities.
Talking with someone is one of the best ways to understand and release the pain you are holding on to. No matter who you are, the process of letting it go will make your life better.
Dr. Barton Goldsmith, an award-winning Los Angeles based psychotherapist and keynote speaker, can be reached via E-mail at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com. Read his blog at psychologytoday.com or follow him on Twitter @BartonGoldsmith.