Pregnant teen seeks advice for raising her child well

DEAR ABBY: I recently found out I am pregnant. I’m only 17 and scared I won’t be a good mother. I’m also anxious about giving birth. I’m due in three months, so I know time is going by fast.

My mother never taught me right from wrong, and having to raise a child at my age is really scary. I don’t want to give my baby up for adoption because I know God does things in mysterious ways. I feel like this is an obstacle he is putting me through to make me stronger in life. Can you give me some advice on how to be a good mother or guide me on how to give my child the necessities? — CONCERNED TEENAGE MOTHER

DEAR CONCERNED: You will be facing challenging circumstances. Consider talking to a social worker at the hospital where you will give birth for advice on how to get the necessities for your baby. It is more important now than ever to complete your education by getting your high school diploma or a GED, so you will be able to better support the child. A trusted teacher or counselor at school may be able to guide you.

If there are older, more experienced family members who are willing, they may be able to offer emotional and practical support. And, if possible, the baby’s father should be involved.

DEAR ABBY: I recently quit drinking because it was clearly becoming a problem for me. I was hiding alcohol, putting it in water bottles, drinking it like water, etc.

I struggle with anxiety, which makes AA not a viable option for me. I looked online and was able to find SMART Recovery. So far, it has been a valuable resource for me. I am sticking to the program and find the people online to be supportive and helpful.

My struggle is, because I had been drinking for so long, people judge me by my past. Even at home. How do I get to a point where people take me for who I am now and stop dwelling on the past? — SOBERING REALITY

DEAR SOBERING: I applaud you for recognizing you had a problem and doing something about it. You mentioned that you “recently” quit drinking. I wish you had mentioned how long ago because it may have something to do with how you are being treated now.

All you can do to change people’s perception of you is sincerely apologize and try to make amends to anyone you may have hurt or offended while you were under the influence. It may take time for them to trust that you are no longer the person you were, so be patient and continue to work on your sobriety. With time, you WILL be respected for the person you are now.

DEAR ABBY: Can you think of any way to tell social media friends that I am not interested in their political views? I respect everyone’s political beliefs, but I am very tired of politics, and there must be something else they can post. Should I “unfollow” these people until after the elections and hope for the best? I suspect I am not alone on this. Any help would be much appreciated! — “WAR” WEARY IN ARKANSAS

DEAR WEARY: These days it does seem like everyone’s a pundit, but you cannot dictate what others choose to post. Because the posts are not entertaining, I see nothing wrong with “hiding” their posts until the election season is over.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby. com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order“How to Have a Lovely Wedding.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 610540447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

DEAR READERS: Dust and debris collect everywhere in our homes, including on the beautiful chandeliers in our living and dining rooms. Cleaning them can be a dreaded task, but take these steps to do it:

First, turn off the chandelier and allow the bulbs to cool completely. Then place a sheet or tablecloth on the floor or over the table right underneath the chandelier to contain any drips from your cleaning. When you begin this chore, it’s probably a good idea to use a sturdy ladder rather than a chair.

Put on clean cotton gloves, then spray glass cleaner on one glove and keep the other one dry. Wipe the dirty crystals with the dampened glove and wipe dry with the other. Repeat these steps over the cooled bulbs too.

WARNING: NEVER spray cleaner directly on the chandelier because it could eat away at the metal parts. DO NOT ROTATE OR TURN the chandelier while cleaning because it could damage the electrical wiring or you could get a shock. —

HOME FIRE SAFETY

DEAR HELOISE: For your family’s sake, pay attention to fire safety in your house, because, according to fire experts, the vast number of firerelated deaths are caused by fires in the home. Have a chat with all family members about how fires can start and not to be careless. Create an emergency escape plan and explain it well so every family member knows exactly what to do if there is a fire.

To help prevent fire risks, DO NOT EVER leave a dryer, stove or candles unattended. Never overload power strips. Test smoke alarms every month. Always be sure that home heating and cooling systems are well maintained. — Heloise

CLEANING LOTS OF ITEMS IN THE DISHWASHER

DEAR READERS: Dishwashers are indispensable kitchen appliances. Of course, we fill them with all of our kitchen and cooking utensils and dishes, but you can use it for cleaning lots of other items around the house as well.

You can put the following items in the dishwasher, but not with dishes: baseball caps (not old valuable ones), flip flops, combs and hair brushes (with hair removed) and small plastic toys. You can also wash sponges, sink stoppers, stove grates and exhaust filters, along with removable shelves from the refrigerator. — Heloise

WINDOW WASHING HINTS

DEAR READERS: Getting dirty windows clean takes such an effort. Here are two helpful hints to make cleaning much easier and make your windows sparkle:

1. To get streak-free windows after washing, dry them on the outside from right to left. On the inside, dry with strokes going up and down. If you notice a streak, you will be able to easily tell which side of the window it’s on.

2. To make windows shine, add one cup of vinegar to a half-gallon of water. Pour into a spray bottle and apply to the windows. Then dry well. — Heloise

GOING TO BOARD YOUR DOG?

DEAR READERS: Before you put your dog in a kennel, you must thoroughly check out the facility. Call friends who have boarded their dog there to get comments about the facility. Or call your vet to get a recommendation. You also can contact the Better Business Bureau to see if it’s a good place. And finally, visit the kennel.

Here’s what you should look for: The kennel must be light, clean and basically free of odors. The boarding kennel should require current booster immunizations. Find out what the policies are for taking care of emergencies. Check out the people who are looking after the pets.

Do they appear to be kind, and do boarded pets look healthy? — Heloise

Send a money-saving or timesaving hint to Heloise, P.O. Box 795000, San Antonio, TX 78279-5000, or you can fax it to 1-210-HELOISE or email it to Heloise@Heloise. com. I can’t answer your letter personally but will use the best hints received in my column.