News of pregnancy is an unwelcome surprise

Dear Abby: My wife of 10 years keeps all kinds of secrets fromme. We let her adult daughter, “Maude,” move in. Maude is 35 and has one daughter. I recently found out that Maude is pregnant again. I heard they had decided to “surpriseme” with the news. (The father is the same guy as before.) I’m tired of being the third wheel, and I think it’s time forme to call it quits. What do you think?— Stay or Go

in Connecticut

Dear Stay Or Go: I’m glad you asked. What I think is that you are outnumbered. Maude should be living on her own orwith the father of her children. If I am reading between the lines correctly, you have allowed yourself to be stuck with the financial burden that Maude and her irresponsible boyfriend should be carrying. I also think it’s time you gave yourwife an ultimatum— eitherMaude andher daughtermove out or you will. Whichever option she chooses, your

situation will improve.

Dear Abby: I’ve been married for five years. Beforemeetingmy husband, I never thought I would find “the one.” Recently, I have been having feelings of wanting to experience sleeping withawoman. I’ve always been sexually adventurous, and I have mentioned a threesome, but he isn’t interested.

I don’t want to die without experiencing sex withawoman, but I also lovemy husband dearly, andwe have a great partnership that I don’t want to destroy. Help!

— Woman SeeksWoman in New York

DearWoman: It’s time for another frank conversation with your husband. Explain clearly that although you love him dearly and do not want to destroy your partnership, you are bi-curious and you would like to experience sex with a woman. However, if his reaction is negative, youmust then decide how important fulfilling this fantasy is to you in light of the fact that it could threaten your marriage.

Dear Abby:

I’ma stay-at-home mother. My husband works Monday to Friday, 10 hours a day. We have been married nearly four years. My problem is we never have alone time. I feel if it continues, we will just fall apart.

On weekends, we sit home, and it’s claustrophobic. We have only one vehicle, which he needs to use, so during the week, I’m stuck at home. Being home 24/7 is drivingme nuts. We never get out and have family time or a date night. I tell him we need it, but he doesn’t seemto care. Could you guide me on what to do?

— In Need of Couples’ Time

Dear In Need: Stop telling your husband “we” need a date night and say instead, “I need this! If you want ourmarriage to survive, you will takeme out of here sowe canspend time without the kid (or kids) because I feel like I’m going nuts.”

A date night every few weeks or onceamonth isn’t too much to ask for. If he is worried about the expense, make sure he knows a hamburger, a sandwich, a drive ALONE WITHHIM iswhat you need. But if he still doesn’t seemto care, then your problem is greater than cabin fever.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.