Socially distant dating breaks isolation
This may be the worst time in modern history to be single. Vanity Fair reported that COVID-19 may have ended the one-night stand. Although some people still are dating like everything is normal, it's definitely not.
The isolation for a single person without close friends and family nearby is very difficult, as cities and states go in and out of lockdown and the rules keep changing. When I was single, I relied very heavily on my friends. We were out most every night. I often had one or two people staying in the guest room, just sowe could all hang out more, and we had group dinners almost every evening. Now, we are living amuch less social life.
Even those who revel in their singleness could not have expected this kind of isolation to become a part of their lives. Saying hello from behind your mask as you take a walk has become the newstandard, but it doesn't really count as connection. The good news is that some people are getting veryinventive about connecting safely.
I sawa sociallydistant date invitation that went something like this: "I'll order food from your favorite restaurant to be delivered to your house, you pick amovie that we can both streamonline. I'll be at my house, and we will talk on FaceTime and have dinner and watch a movie together!" I love it. Creative, kind and touchless. Whatmore could anyone ask for in the era of COVID-19?
Bars and indoor restaurants have closed again for now, and some may never reopen, which is very sad. It's too soon to say what all our lives will look likewhen this pandemic has passed. What I do know is that you can rebuild a life that has suffered from having to close down socially for a while. And luckily, you do have the opportunity to interact on the internet and from a distance until it's safe to be close again.
Ifyouarefortunateenough to livenear water, boats seem to offer a socially distant way of having fun, connecting and staying safe — and boating can be a good date option. If you're with someonenew, wearingmasks and bringing your own food are good to do until you're both sure you are completely healthy.
Right nowa lot of creativitywill be needed if you are looking for a new relationship, so how can you keep safe? First off, follow the CDC's recommendations. If both of you have been living in quarantine, and you bothhave been very recently testedforCOVID-19, then that is reassuring. But I would recommend being as safe as possible until you are both positive that you are negative for the virus and are healthy.
My wife and I are being each other's best friend, and we only socialize froma distance with very few other people who we know are also taking care of themselves. I think our little pod has done quitewell aswe all get through this together.
The best benefit of pandemic dating is that people are spending a lot more time getting to know each other before getting together or hooking up. Taking your time is the bestway to begin a relationship that will last.
Dr. BartonGoldsmith, a psychotherapist inWestlake Village, Calif., is the author of“The Happy Couple: HowtoMake Happiness a HabitOne Little Loving Thing at aTime.”Followhis daily insights onTwitter at @BartonGoldsmith, or email him at Barton@ bartongoldsmith.com.