Friend neglects to mention drug habit
Dear Abby: My hairdresser, former neighbor and friend recommended her unemployed brother to do someminor repairs to my home. He and his sister were trying to pushme into a relationship. I ama widow with no children. I have no mortgages, car notes, etc. I’mnot wealthy, but I amwell set.
My hairdresser recently mentioned that her brother was using crack cocaine again. I’m furious that she didn’t disclose her brother’s addiction sooner. Should I let it go or confront her about this? I really don’t want to losemy hairdresser. — Styled Right in the South
Dear Styled: You are certainly free to ask your hairdresser why she didn’t tell you her brother had a crack habit before recommending him to do repairs in your home. It’s a fair question, if nothing is missing and the repairs were done properly. Refrain from doing it while you are angry. If you hang on to your temper, there is no reason why your relationship with the woman should end.
As to a relationshipwith the brother, no law says youmust have one with him. You don’t have to be confrontational, but be less available.
Dear Abby: My son (age 30) is getting a liver transplant soon, andmy ex-husband (son’s father) refuses to use personal protective equipment in his encounters with others because he thinks his civil liberties are being violated. We don’t communicate often because the new wife is a very unpleasant person who tookmy house away 10 years ago. I’m OK with that because I landed onmy feet in a much better situation, but I do not trust her or speak to her.
I have left posts on Facebook requesting that those who intend to help my son use PPE for at least twoweeks before seeing him. So far, my ex has not responded. Howcan I gethimto understand that this is HIS child and not wearing PPE could kill him?
— COVID Concerned in Georgia
Dear COVID Concerned: Your son’s transplant specialist should be asked to send your ex a registered letter explaining the precautions thatmust be taken if he visits his son and how important they are. I amcrossingmy fingers that the doctor will do it. But your sonmust understand that if Daddy is unwilling to cooperate, HE (your son), not you, is the person whomust enforce that rule because he will be immuno-compromised, and his life depends on it. Asmuch as you might wish to, you cannot police every encounter Daddy has with his adult son.
Dear Abby: Last year, relatives said they would attend a party we were hosting. They didn’t come, and we never received any reason why. We had to pay for their dinners. Wemay see themat an upcoming social event. How should we greet them? —
Annoyed in Ohio
Dear Annoyed: What your relatives didwas rude and inconsiderate. When you see them, say hello and calmly ask why they didn’t show up. Be polite, which they weren’t — and inthe future remove themfrom your guest list if their answer doesn’t satisfy you.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.