Dayton Daily News

Friends have no sympathy after possible exposure

- JeannePhil­lips Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Dear Abby: My husband came down with COVID and has been having a hard time getting over it. When he first started showing the symptoms, I took himto a drive-throughmed­ical clinic and got him tested for COVID. The results were negative, so a couple of days later, I carpooled with a friend to another friend’s house where seven other friends had gathered. Several days later, whenmy husband still wasn’t improving, I took him to an ER where they did another COVID test. This time it came out positive.

I thought I owed it to whomever I was around at the get-together to tell them aboutmy husband. At this get-together, we all wore masks. We took themoff only to eat and then put them back on. It has been more than 14 days sincemy husband got sick, and although he is not yet over the virus, I haven’t come down with it.

I thoughtmy friends would be supportive ofme andwhatmy husband is going through. However, I learned from one of these “friends” of more than 20 years that they formed a private Facebook group to discuss how each one has been doing on a daily basis, and I was not invited to participat­e. I feel betrayed by these paranoid friends. At this point, I don’t think I can ever look at any of them the sameway. I have been contemplat­ing endingmy friendship with all of them. What do you think?

— Kicked When Down in Oklahoma

Dear Kicked: I think you should ask the friend who told you about the private Facebook group whether any of the women got sick after that get-together. If the answer is yes, make an appointmen­t and have yourself COVID-tested — twice, if necessary — to ensure that you are not a symptomles­s carrier. If it turns out that you are positive, tell your friends.

If you test negative, your first priority should be to help your husband get well and protect yourself from getting the virus. As to whether you should end your relationsh­ip with these “distanced” friends, from the way they are behaving, it appears theymay have ended their relationsh­ip with YOU, and for that you have my sympathy.

Dear Abby: I recently hadmy hair dyed bymy brother-in-law who is a great hairstylis­t. I have seen his work on other clients, and he knows what he’s doing. I have received a lot of compliment­s onmy new “do.”

Problem is, I didn’t get what I ASKED for. I was a coward at the time and didn’t speak up. Nowmy roots are starting to show, and I’ll be needing a touch-up soon. How do I go about going to another salon for what I want without hurting his feelings or causing hard feelings with my sister-in-law?

— Coward in Kansas

Dear Coward in Kansas: Make the appointmen­t and have your hair done the way you prefer. If your sister- or brother-in-law asks about it, say you know he is terrific and how busy he is and didn’t want to “impose” further. If he’s as good as you say he is, he will notice that the color is different from what he used on you.

You’re not a coward for wanting to spare your BIL’s feelings. You do a disservice to him, however, as a profession­al for not being truthful about your opinion of his work on you. Your head, your choice.

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