Sitter’s granddaughter is a big concern for mother
Dear Abby: Becausemy husband and I work, I take our 6-month-old to a sitter several times a week. I understand little ones tend to be mean sometimes — hitting, biting and pushing — but in this case, it’s a little different.
My sitter cares for her 3-year-old granddaughter as well as her clients’ children, and her granddaughter pushes the littler ones. I have seen her push a 1-year-old down. I have never observed any of the other children do it, only the granddaughter.
I wouldn’t be so worried ifmy daughterwere 2 and could defend herself, but she’s only 6months old. She is crawling, sitting up and standing already, and I’m gravely worried the girl will harmmy infant. I don’t want my baby ending up with a head injury. What can I do to try to resolve this?
— Deeply Concerned in the South
Dear Deeply Concerned: Talk to the sitter about your concerns. Ask if it is possible to keep the older girl separate fromthe younger ones, however, the only way to be absolutely certain your little one is safe would be to change babysitters.
Dear Abby: Imade a friend on Facebook. “Drew” and I texted through Messenger, and I went to ride four-wheelers with him one day. We hit it off great. We started dating, and he moved in withme for a few months.
In the beginning, Drew didn’tmention he was working only part time. After he toldme he had beenmoved to part time, I told himhe needed to tell his boss he needed full time or a different job. I wrote a comment to that effect on their page, and his boss textedme back saying Drew can work asmuch as he wants! He also said Drew hasn’t worked full time since he started working there.
Well, Drewgotmad atme and left. I still love him. I thought he was my soul mate. Should I keepwishing we could get back together?
— Feeling Lifeless
Dear Feeling Lifeless: No! In a sense, youwere taken for a ride, and I’mnot talking about four-wheelers. Your next soulmate should be someone who is completely honest and, preferably, fully employed. Drew is neither.
Dear Abby: I have been remarried for four years to a wonderfulman who treatsme like a queen. However, he andmy 18-yearold daughter dislike each other, which causes a huge amount of stress and conflict. They fight, and I’m stuck in themiddle. I don’t know what I can do to resolve this problem. I love themboth with allmy heart!
— Desperate For Peace
Dear Desperate: I wish you hadmentioned why your husband dislikes your daughter and vice versa. Is he overbearing and trying to parent her? That is YOUR job, not his.
Your daughter is no longer 14. At 18, she is now considered to be an adult, and because the “combatants” are both adults, they should act like it, be civil and refrain fromturning their disagreements into open warfare. Your mistake has been allowing yourself to be placed in themiddle. A better solution would be to get family counseling if your daughter plans to continue to live with you.