Discussing sex life with ex is the final straw for wife
Dear Abby: I have been married for 19 years now. A few years back, I came to know aboutmy husband’s platonic relationship with his old girlfriend. She lives in a different state and is married.
My husband has long chats with her every day about everything, including our sex life. I confronted himand asked him to end their relationship because knowing that hewantsme to do something in bed because his friend does it bothersme a lot. He promised at the time that he wouldn’t talk or chat with her anymore, and I trusted him.
A fewweeks ago, I discovered that he still chats with her every day, and he changed her name in his contact list to hide his relationship. I feel cheated on, and I want to end thismarriage. Please helpme. I don’t want to make a wrong step.
— Betrayed in Florida
Dear Betrayed: A couple’s sex life is supposed to be private. Your husband and his supposedly platonic “friend” have both betrayed the trust of their spouses. That he would expect you to do something in bed that he knows she is doing is substituting your body for hers, and frankly, it strikes me as another formof cheating. Obscuring her name in his contact file illustrates that he has no intention of ending their relationship.
You feel cheated on because you HAVE been cheated on. It will continue as long as you allow it. Because you’re afraid you will take a wrong step, start quietly gathering all the financial information you can and talk with several lawyers before deciding which one will work hardest to protect your interests and proceed from there.
Dear Abby: Due to COVID shutting schools down, my employer is now allowing staff to bring their kids to work if they don’t have alternative child care. I bringmy 8-year-old, and I have seen many other kids around. Most of themare well behaved and don’t cause any problems.
However, we have a new employee, “Michelle,” who has started bringing her 4-year-old with her. The child, I’ll call her Autumn, is in her mother’s office, but she’s so loud, she can be heard all the way across the building! I thought surelyMichelle would close her office door and contain Autumn’s “jolly” voice inside her own area, but she seems perfectly happy to let her daughtermake asmuch noise as she wants.
I don’t understand this. Other parents make sure their kids behave and act appropriately. What can I do to let Michelle andmy supervisor knowthatwhile yes, she can bring her child with her, it’s still her responsibility tomake sure the kid isn’t creating a distraction? — Tired of the Noise
Dear Tired of the Noise: I do not think it would be prudent to talk about this with Michelle, which is sure tomake her defensive. You should, however, inform your supervisor that becauseMichelle’s door is left open, her daughter’s “jolly” voice is creating a distraction. If it has been causing a problem for you, the chances are it is doing the same for other employees and reducing productivity.