Jealousy creates a barrier between these siblings
Dear Abby: I’man Americanman who was adopted as an infant. Several years ago, I found my birth parents. They are not from America. My mother came here to give birth and left. Sometime later shemarried my father and hadmore children. I’m in touch with the entire family, but mainlymy birth parents.
My biological siblings are jealous ofmy success in life andmake it plain they don’t approve of much that I do. They alsomake sure I know I’mnot REALLY part of the family because we didn’t grow up together (although we are, by blood, 100% siblings).
I deal with this the best I can, but now I’mgetting flak fromthembecause of my political views. (They sawaphoto ofme at a political fundraiser.) When my sister turned 40 this year, I sent her a card, a Facebook post and a text message. I turned 50 at the same time and heard not a word from her.
Although my siblings are not Americans, they feel the need to trash our country, our government and our way of life. I’mtempted to cut ties with them. There is little respect comingmy way, and I think I’ve had enough. I value your opinion, which is why I am writing to you now.
BTW: I had an amazing set of (now deceased) parents and wonderful siblings growing up. I just wish I had a better relationship with my biological family.
— Disappointed and Excluded
Dear Disappointed:
Your family is the family that raised and nurtured you. I, too, amsorry you don’t have a better relationship with these jealous, judgmental people. You are related by blood — nothing more. They do not have the right to criticize your political views or your lifestyle, anymore than you have the right to criticize theirs. Because you are neither respected nor included, you have every right to back off and head in a different, more positive direction. Frankly, I suspect youwill feel better as soon as you do.
Dear Abby:
I’ma 26-year-oldmale in a long-distance relationship withmy girlfriend, who is 18. I love her to the moon and back, but I feel like she only stays withme because I can buy her things. She gets upset with me when I don’t get themfor her. She says I value my mother and others before her.
I love her somuch, and I want tomarry her. I’m aminister at a church.
She thinks she should take priority beforemy bills and taking care ofmy mother, who can barely walk. What do I do?
— Uneasy in New Jersey
Dear Uneasy: Fromwhat you have written, it appears you are involved with an 18-year-old self-involved gold digger who does seem to be with you only because of what you give her. She hasn’t yet learned (1) that a gift should be voluntary and appreciated, rather than extorted, and (2) the way aman treats his mother is the way he will treat his wife.
Since you askedmy advice, here it is: Close your wallet and ditch this “girl.”
Dear Readers: 2020 has drawn to a close! I join you tonight in toasting a 2021 that will be less challenging for all of us. If you’re celebrating this evening, please take measures to protect your health and the safety of others. — Love, Abby