‘I JUST DIDN’T WANT TO BE ALIVE ANYMORE’
Meghan says life as royal made her suicidal.
A year after Meghan Markle married Prince Harry in a fairy-tale wedding, she said in an extraordinary interview broadcast Sunday night, her life as a member of the British royal family had become so emotionally desolate that she contemplated suicide.
At another point, members of the family told Harry and Meghan, a biracial former actress from the United States, that they did not want the couple’s unborn child, Archie, to be a prince or princess and expressed concerns about how dark the color of the baby’s skin would be.
An emotional but self-possessed Meghan said of her suicidal thoughts: “I was ashamed to have to admit it to Harry. I knew that if I didn’t say it, I would do it. I just didn’t want to be alive anymore.”
Meghan, 39, made the disclosures in an eagerly anticipated, at times incendiary, interview on CBS with Oprah Winfrey that aired in the United States in prime time. It aired Monday night on Britain’s ITV network. In describing a royal life that began as a fairy tale but quickly turned suffocating and cruel, Meghan’s blunt answers raised the combustible issues of race and privilege in the most rarefied echelon of British society.
For a U.S. audience that has lapped up the palace intrigue depicted in the popular TV series “The Crown,” it was the equivalent of an explosive bonus episode — one promoted in a week of charges and countercharges about the role Meghan played in the House of Windsor.
For the royal family, already preoccupied by the hospitalization of its patriarch, Prince Philip, it was both an embarrassing airing of dirty laundry and a painful reminder, a year after Harry and Meghan turned their backs on royal life, that the wounds from that rupture had yet to heal.
Meghan said that while her husband was deeply concerned about her emotional fragility — gripping her hand tightly at public events — her efforts to seek medical help were rebuffed by palace officials, who worried about the effect on the monarchy. She described herself as a sort of prisoner in Kensington Palace.
“I couldn’t just call an Uber to the palace,” she said.
Meghan did not say which family member had raised questions about her baby’s skin color, nor did she fully explain why the royal family had not automatically planned to confer a royal title, which would have provided security protection for the child. By convention, Archie would assume a royal title once his grandfather Prince Charles ascended to the throne.
Still, the lack of clarity did not rob the moment of its power: Meghan’s reference to concerns about her child’s skin tone provoked a stunned “what?” from Winfrey.
In other, less provocative disclosures, Meghan corrected the record on some family business and revealed the sex of their unborn child.
It was her sister-in-law, Kate, she said, who drove her to tears in a clash over dresses for the flower girls, rather than the reverse as had been widely reported. In another awkward encounter with one of her own aides, she said that the aide told her she shouldn’t go out to lunch with friends because she was overexposed, even though she had left her residence only twice in four months.
Harry and Meghan disclosed that their second child, due this summer, will be a girl.
Meghan, her baby bump clearly visible, spoke casually and with humor about her early encounters with her future in-laws. She described learning how to curtsy moments before she was introduced to Queen Elizabeth II, with whom she said she always had a warm relationship, and insisted she knew nothing about what was going to be expected of her as a working royal.
“I didn’t do any research about
what that would mean,” she said. “I never looked up my husband online.”
Harry, who joined Meghan for the second half of the interview, said the couple broke away because of a lack of support or understanding from his family, particularly about the racism that he said his wife confronted in news coverage.
“No one from my family said anything over those three years,” Harry said.
The prince, who remains sixth in line to the throne, described being financially cut off by his family after he and Meghan announced plans to withdraw from royal duties. He said his relationship with his father was particularly strained — Charles stopped taking his calls at one point — because “there’s a lot of hurt that has happened.”
On both sides of the Atlantic, this was the most eagerly anticipated royal interview since Harry’s mother, Princess Diana, told the BBC in 1995 that “there were three of us in this marriage,” referring to her husband, Charles, and his extramarital relationship with Camilla Parker Bowles, whom he later married.
Like Meghan, Diana was a glamorous outsider who brought a shower of stardust to the House of Windsor when she married Charles, only to become deeply unhappy within the confines of royal life. Unlike Meghan, her marriage crumbled amid competing claims of infidelity, and by the time she spoke to the BBC journalist, Martin Bashir, she said the palace viewed her as a “threat of some kind.”
A vivid bookend to her turbulent years in the royal family, Diana’s interview was a popcultural moment that drew one of the largest British television audiences in history, lived on in parodies on “Saturday Night Live” and deepened the media’s fathomless hunger for all things Diana. Two years later, she was dead in Paris, the victim of a car crash after a high-speed chase with photographers.
Harry invoked that tragedy with Winfrey, saying of his wife’s recurring clashes with the tabloid press, “My biggest concern was history repeating itself.” He has long blamed journalists for his mother’s death and said one of the reasons the couple moved to California was to escape the unrelenting media glare.
And yet, there the couple sat, in comfortable wicker outdoor chairs, across a low round table, from perhaps the nation’s most recognizable television host. Winfrey’s list of celebrity interviews includes Michael Jackson, Barack Obama, Kim Kardashian and Donald Trump — and she is known for considering little to be off limits (in 1993, she asked a nonplused Jackson if he was a virgin).
Meghan, however, cast the interview as a chance to reclaim her own narrative, after a period when she claims her reputation was distorted by a ravenous tabloid press fed a diet of falsehoods by jealous palace courtiers.
Even Meghan’s choice of wardrobe seemed calculated to telegraph the message of a new start. Her elegant black dress, designed by Giorgio Armani, featured a striking lotus flower design that her staff said symbolized revival and a will to live. She also wore a diamond tennis bracelet that once belonged to Diana.
But the couple’s effort to relaunch their public image did not go unchallenged back home. In the days leading up to the broadcast, new allegations surfaced that Meghan had bullied members of her staff, reducing junior aides to tears and driving two personal assistants out of the palace. Meghan dismissed the claims as character assassination, while Buckingham Palace said it would look into them.
“What is going on is a significant struggle for the control of the narrative,” said Peter Hunt, a former BBC royal correspondent. “What is our settled judgment for why Harry and Meghan left the royal family? Do we accept two hours of Oprah or do we believe those charges of bullying?”
Early headlines in the British tabloids suggested that Meghan’s bombshells will reverberate for weeks. “I wanted to kill myself,” said a headline on The Daily Mail’s website. “I felt suicidal,” said a headline on The Sun’s site.
Though British papers have covered every conceivable angle of the interview, some made it clear there were limits to the interest it was generating. The Sunday Times of London reported that the queen herself had no plans to watch the program, which is quite predictable, since it aired after midnight London time.
Others in Britain tried to play down its significance, pointing out that there are other more important things going on in the country: Schools reopened Monday, and the coronavirus vaccine rollout continues at full speed. At least one prominent British leader said he had no plans to stay up for it.
“Of course, I’m interested in all sorts of stuff around the news around the world,” Prime Minister Boris Johnson said Sunday, when asked about Harry and Meghan. “I think it’s quite late our time, so I’ll probably miss it.”
Today is Tuesday, March 9.
TODAY’S HIGHLIGHT
On March 9, 1841, the U.S. Supreme Court, in United States v. The Amistad, ruled 7-1 in favor of a group of illegally enslaved Africans who were captured off the U.S. coast after seizing control of a Spanish schooner, La Amistad; the justices ruled that the Africans should be set free.
ON THIS DATE
In 1916, more than 400 Mexican raiders led by Pancho Villa attacked Columbus, New Mexico, killing 18 Americans. During the First World War, Germany declared war on Portugal.
In 1933, Congress, called into special session by President Franklin D. Roosevelt, began its “hundred days” of enacting New Deal legislation.
In 1945, during World War
II, U.S. B-29 bombers began launching incendiary bomb attacks against Tokyo, resulting in an estimated 100,000 deaths.
In 1954, CBS newsman Edward R. Murrow critically reviewed Wisconsin Sen. Joseph R. McCarthy’s anticommunism campaign on “See It Now.”
In 1959, Mattel’s Barbie doll, created by Ruth Handler, made its public debut at the American International Toy Fair in New York.
In 1964, the U.S. Supreme Court, in New York Times
Co. v. Sullivan, raised the standard for public officials to prove they’d been libeled in their official capacity by news organizations.
In 1976, a cable car in the Italian ski resort of Cavalese fell some 700 feet to the ground when a supporting line snapped, killing 43 people.
In 1987, Chrysler Corp. announced it had agreed to buy the financially ailing American Motors Corp.
In 1989, the Senate rejected
President George H.W. Bush’s nomination of John Tower to be defense secretary by a vote of 53-47. (The next day, Bush tapped Wyoming Rep. Dick Cheney, who went on to win unanimous Senate approval.)
In 1990, Dr. Antonia Novello was sworn in as surgeon general, becoming the first woman and the first Hispanic to hold the job.
In 1997, gangsta rapper The Notorious B.I.G. (Christopher Wallace) was killed in a stillunsolved drive-by shooting in Los Angeles; he was 24.
In 2000, John McCain suspended his presidential campaign, conceding the Republican nomination to George W. Bush. Bill Bradley ended his presidential bid, conceding the Democratic nomination to Vice President Al Gore.
One year ago: Global stock markets and oil prices plunged, reflecting mounting alarm over the impact of the coronavirus. An alarmingly sharp slide at the opening bell on Wall Street triggered the first automatic halt in trading in more than two decades; the Dow industrials finished nearly 8% lower. A cruise ship with at least 21 infected people aboard was allowed to dock in Oakland, California after days idling at sea while dozens of those aboard were tested. Italy’s premier put the entire country on lockdown to combat the coronavirus, urging all 60 million Italians to stay home. The Capitol’s attending physician said “several” members of Congress had contact with a person who had attended a recent political conference and had later developed COVID-19. More than two dozen people, including the trainer of champion horse Maximum Security, were charged in what authorities described as a widespread scheme to drug racehorses to make them run faster.
AMC WEST CHESTER 18
Raya and the Last Dragon
DAYTON SOUTH 16 AND XD
(R) 6:55.
UEC CINEMA 10
6:00.
Tue, Mar 9
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. You’ll be better off ignoring what you’re bad at while you maximize your gifts. Put enough time into building your talent and your weaknesses become a moot point.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). People put forth the face they want the world to see. The only way to know the inside of a person or relationship is to experience the inside of one’s own being and life.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Your options may seem limited, but they are perfect for now. If you had any more, it would be confusing and hard to choose. Focus on the best choice you can make and from the next vantage point, you’ll see much more.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’ll feel like you could use a break, and you’re just the one to give it to yourself. Design it as you would any event you were throwing for a loved one — with care.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Can you judge a book by its cover? That’s debatable. But most readers would agree that you can’t judge a book by its movie. Today’s options include a long route and the Hollywood version, two entirely different experiences.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Once you decide to serve someone, you do it with full attention, paying special notice to the person’s preferences and how they need a thing to be done. Then you give it without being asked. This will set you apart now.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). When a thing is chased, it runs. This is why you don’t chase and instead focus on building attraction. Figuring out how to make a thing better is incredibly satisfying to you, and it pays off, too.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21).
You crave the excitement and satisfaction that comes from growing your knowledge. And the beautiful thing about learning in the current age is that there is almost always a low-cost version, so shop around a bit.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) .Ifa thing can’t be proven, why argue over whether it’s true or false? There’s a good reason: The argument is about the dynamic and status of those in the fight.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). There are many ways to discuss problems, including not discussing and hoping it goes away. Be brave and proactive. The adage “Tell me early, I’m your friend. Tell me late, I’m your critic” will apply.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Sacrifice, by definition, is a loss. But when you sacrifice for love, it will be impossible to lose. Because no matter what you lay down at the altar of love, the act of giving makes you richer.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Some think you should suffer for art/love/work, and some don’t think so and are still successful by all accounts. Really, this will go down according to your beliefs, so you may as well believe in an enjoyable direction.
IF TODAY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY: In the manner of opening a high window and making it rain with what you believe to be dollar bill equivalents, every day you’ll give several small gifts. But these are not dollars; they are seeds, and they are worth more than you can imagine. You’ll understand more fully in late August when you witness what took root and taste the fruit. Leo and Virgo adore you. Your lucky numbers are 1, 4, 38, 7 and 16.