Creating memories with loved ones — for $40

Among the latest chasms in the generation gap is the question of what’s acceptable for wedding receptions. We’ve come a long way from hand-written invitations and black tie formality. Today it’s pretty much text messages and whatever’s in your closet.

But a recent news story raised the question of whether this generation of wedders has gone too far.

An unidentified bride and groom-to-be sent out invitations declaring: “In lieu of traditional gifts, we kindly request that you contribute toward the cost of our reception buffet. This will allow us to share a wonderful meal together and create lasting memories with our loved ones.” (The price for creating lasting memories was $40 for adults and $20 for kids.)

No surprise that when the story popped up on social media it led to global controversy. There’s nothing like an event that celebrates love and joy to get people screaming and yelling at each other.

A lot of people called it tacky, declaring that if the couple couldn’t afford a big reception, they should just serve lemonade and cookies. (As an added benefit, you find out who your REALLY good friends are if all you’re serving at the reception is lemonade and cookies.)

Others countered that it made sense, because $40 is less than the cost of a gift that the happy couple will wind up selling at a garage sale as soon as they get home from the honeymoon, so it’s winwin. They did, however, stop short of suggesting a pot luck dinner.

Having reached a point where I’m attending a lot more funerals than weddings, it’s not something about which I have a strong opinion, although I do have some questions. Would teetotalers get a discount? Would Uncle Fred, who drinks like a camel, have to pay a surcharge? And where do you get a “wonderful” meal for $40 these days?

My only personal experience with wedding reception costs came at a time when couples didn’t worry about paying for the reception, because that’s what fathers of the bride were for.

When my daughter planned her wedding, she compiled a guest list that included relatives, friends, casual acquaintances and anybody who happened to be passing by the church at the time. I countered by showing her the amount I had committed for the reception and told her that anything she spent less than that would be hers to keep. Her final guest list wound up consisting of parents, two of her three brothers and a guy named Don, who only qualified for an invitation by virtue of the fact that he was the groom.

But no one had to pay to be included.

Except for me, of course.