TIME TO SUPPORT AND UPLIFT MOTHERS

Creating spaces for some honest conversation will help moms feel less alone

From celebrating becoming a mother to mourning the loss of one, everyone approaches Mother’s Day a little differently. In today’s Ideas & Voices, contributors share their perspectives on the joys and challenges of motherhood.

Motherhood is often depicted as a beautiful journey filled with love, joy and fulfillment. However, beneath the surface lies a reality that many mothers face but few talk about: the profound loneliness that accompanies the transformative process of “matrescence,” the life stage that marks the transition into motherhood. This journey is marked by intense highs and lows, and for many women — including myself — navigating it without the support of their own mothers or a close-knit community can be incredibly challenging.

In American culture, motherhood is often celebrated but can also be idealized to an extent that undermines the realities of maternal struggles. We place a strong emphasis on individualism and personal success, which can lead to mothers feeling pressure to “have it all” — balancing a career, family and personal fulfillment. Doing so without an integrated, supportive family network can make the journey of motherhood even more daunting and mothers, like myself, can be left to feel adrift, struggling to reconcile the demands of motherhood with the pressures of modern life.

In traditional societies, women would have relied on a “tribe” of fellow mothers for support and guidance and where they have a more collective approach to childcare and parenting. Extended family members often play a significant role in caregiving and emotional support. This sense of community and connection helps alleviate some of the isolation that mothers often experience in our Western culture where nuclear families are more common.

I’ve personally felt the energy and welcoming nature of these more traditional societies in places such as Spain, Italy, and other European countries. I’m not saying they simply opened the door for a mother carrying her baby; the culture is much more inclusive and embracing of children in everyday life and experiences. It’s a visceral feeling and hard to put into words. For instance, going out to eat isn’t an all-consuming dance attempting to keep your child quiet and well mannered. It’s lunch where the owner sings and dances for the love of baby smiles, or a fellow table neighbor strikes up conversation with an antsy 6-yearold about their favorite toys. Even more, outside of this simple human generosity, the architecture and piazzas are set up so that children can run and play amongst each other as restaurants, nature and room to roam are integrated together. It’s the acknowledgement and embracing of a child’s presence and the collective support that helps carry the weight if just for a moment.

So, what can be done to support mothers on their journey? A cultural shift is a lot to ask, but above all we must at least acknowledge and validate the range of emotions that accompany motherhood, both the highs and the lows. By creating spaces for honest and open conversation, we can help mothers feel less alone in their experiences.

Ultimately, the journey of motherhood is a deeply personal and transformative experience, one unique to each woman who embarks upon it. While the road may be laden with challenges and obstacles, it is also filled with moments of profound love, joy and connection. By coming together as a community to support and uplift mothers, we can help ensure that no woman has to navigate the path of motherhood alone.