Parents don’t support their independent daughter’s dream
Dear Amy: I’m a financially independent 27-year-old woman. I work in the beauty industry. My parents do not support my career advancement and skill development.
I need to move and leave my current job, but I will not jump ship until I have something else lined up.
I attend conventions and trade shows to make connections in the professional world, learn new skills, and keep up with current trends. It’s an investment in myself. My parents express their disappointment and call my efforts a waste of money – and dangerous. I can’t understand why.
Recently, I was very down because I had to cancel a three-hour trip to a skills development show. I’d spent weeks preparing.
My parents said I should be happy that I saved money by not attending. They refuse to acknowledge this as a lost opportunity.
I’ve suggested counseling for them, but they don’t believe in it. I can’t keep stalling my career to appease their comfort.
I’ve expressed what I need from them. I only want moral support. They refuse.
If I have to hide my interest for professional growth, I don’t know how we’ll be able to maintain a close relationship.
They’re getting older and live a few hours away.
I don’t want our rare visits to be spent getting yelled at for choosing my path.
– Striving
Dear Striving: I agree with you that counseling would be beneficial – for you.
You are 27 years old. You are doing exactly what you should be doing with your life – charting the course of your own future and working hard to succeed. Other ambitious selfstarters will counsel you to hitch up your trousers and keep at it.
This is the entrepreneur’s journey you have chosen. You must encounter some risk in order to reap your reward.
Where you seem to have strayed from the path is in your reliance on your parents for applause, assent, or moral support.
They won’t give it to you, so stop asking for or expecting it.
It is so frustrating when people won’t give you what you want, but if you change your focus away from others and train it on your own development, your frustration will also disappear.
If your profession and your own efforts are all you have to talk to your folks about, then you’ll have to steel yourself to their negative responses. Otherwise, do what young adults the world over do when talking to their folks, and edit your narrative.
My own (unsolicited) opinion is that you should get a second part-time gig to pay the bills, and plow ahead with your efforts to develop your skills and network with other pros. You’ll get there.