Don’t dwell with dad of two layabout daughters

DEARAMY>> About two years ago, I got together with an old classmate at our 30th reunion.

We get along great except for one thing, well, two things.

His daughters are 18 and 20. They have no jobs and have never been asked to do any chores around the house.

I told him early on that this would be a problem if we were to move in together in the future. He said he understood and would start asking them to do things.

He never did. During the pandemic, I’ve been staying at his house.

I made a chore board (at his request), only asking them to vacuum twice a week and clean their bathroom every other week.

He and I constantly argue about him not asking them to make sure it’s done.

I don’t know how to remedy this.

I love him but will not cater to two adults who do nothing. Any advice?

DEAR FED UP >> The way for you to remedy this is to leave the household and move back into your own home. You don’t seem able to tolerate this, and so NOT living with a couple of frustratingly lazy young women will definitely solve your problem.

You moved in with a man whose household was already intact. This is his house. These are his layabout children (he taught this and tolerates it). You are, essentially, a COVID houseguest, and as such (chore chart or not), you don’t get to dictate how this household runs.

You laid down your nonnegotiable early on and you moved in with him anyway, even though you had no evidence that the household dynamic was suitable for you. Now you know that it is not.

Stop arguing about this. Your guy is unwilling to insist that his daughters do anything differently. Perhaps they will eventually move out (although given their ages and the current situation, that probably will not happen anytime soon).

However, you can move out now and continue to date your guy, without the pressure of feeling so unhappy about his failings as a father.