To reopen schools, all sides must focus on shared goal
On this week a year ago, students in the Bay Area’s two largest school districts, Oakland and San Francisco, left their classrooms for the last time and have not yet returned. Their educational experience changed entirely, as did the job descriptions for educators and parents.
There was no emotional closure. There was no preparation for the transition. Yet, in that moment, it was the right choice. To the best of our knowledge then, it was the safest choice. There were so many unknowns about COVID-19.
One year later, we have access to more knowledge and data. We now know that schools are not superspreader sites, and a safe return to inperson learning is possible with appropriate mitigation measures in place.
Yet, students remain at home, including my own two elementary-school-age children, as well as the children that I have been caring for as a family physician at a federally qualified health center in East Oakland for more than a decade.
Why is that? From my perspective, the debate around school reopening has become political and adversarial — parents versus the district versus the union versus the city — and it feels like it’s more about being on the “winning” team than focusing on the shared goal of safely returning to the classroom.
At my children’s school in Oakland, they learn a socialemotional curriculum called Toolbox. Through these strategies, the children are taught to navigate conflict and have courageous conversations. We adults are forgetting to use our toolbox.
Instead of role modeling courageous, compassionate interactions that prioritize our shared goal of safely reopening schools as soon as possible, we post pointed and inflammatory remarks on social media; we send email messages intended to make the other side look as if they are the ones who are rigid and unreasonable; we file lawsuits to force the other side’s hand; and we attack each other in meetings that should be an opportunity for dialogue and real listening.
This type of behavior would not be tolerated in a classroom. We are expecting more of our children than ourselves.
Our children are suffering the most from the dysfunction and bad behavior of their “grown-ups,” as my son’s teacher calls us. Children’s hospitals have seen an increase in emergency room visits for acute mental health concerns due to increased isolation. Students previously highly engaged in academic pursuits are now skipping school because “it’s boring and not as fun,” as my own 9-year old daughter told me last week.
And many of my patients are actually more exposed to COVID-19 in the current learning setup as their essential-worker parents piecemeal together child care. On average, these children have 10 adults involved to keep them safely supervised while their parents work outside the home.
To be sure, there are valid concerns about safety and complex logistical issues that must be addressed to make school reopening possible. Acknowledging the fear and anxiety that this brings up for all of us — children, parents and educators — is critical. Instead of diminishing others’ experiences or feelings, we should be holding space for them and looking to find common ground.
Although we’ve been forced to be apart for the last year, we must remember our common humanity; we are all experiencing this together. Most important, we must remember kindness.
To move forward, we all need to use our toolbox tools: breathing, listening, empathy, patience and courage, for example. As author Glennon Doyle says, “We can do hard things.” And, I believe, we can do better.