Boss busts through boundaries

DEAR READERS >>

Every year during this time I step away from my column to work on other creative projects. I hope you enjoy these “Best

Of” Q&As from 10 years ago, which

I’ve retrieved from my advice vault.

Today’s topic is: “Whoa — That’s Inappropriate!”

I also invite readers to subscribe to my weekly “Asking Amy” newsletter, at Amydickinson.substack.com, where I post advice, as well as commentary about what I’m reading, watching, and listening to.

I’ll be back with fresh Q&As next week.

DEAR AMY >> I work in a field that requires some travel, and while traveling with the company owner, “Beth” (20 years my junior), she requires that I share a hotel room with her. She has no sense of personal boundaries and will leave the bathroom door open while using the toilet and yelling comments to me (not even my husband does this).

She also parades around the room in her thong (who wants to see your boss’s naked backside?) and tries to discuss her dating and/or sex life with me.

I am usually hiding under the covers, claiming to be too tired.

When I asked for my own room recently, she said that it wasn’t in the budget and that she has to be careful with travel costs. She also wants to share room service breakfasts. She will order one entree for us to share, and a pot of coffee.

I made the in-room coffee and said that gave us a little extra money to work with and I would like to get my own breakfast, but she said she did not like the inroom coffee.

I would rather go out to a less expensive coffee shop and order what I choose to eat, but I am locked into her preferences. She once suggested I should stay with her brother when I traveled to another city in order to save money. I refused. (Oh, did I mention she bought a million-dollar home this year?)

I am actively seeking other employment, but I would appreciate any advice.

— Old Lady Undercover

DEAR UNDERCOVER >> Your boss sounds like a nightmare.

I strongly recommend that while at breakfast, you should get busy brushing up your resume and also researching this behavior, which I believe easily rises to the level of legally actionable.

Your boss has created the very definition of a “hostile work environment.” She may find that defending herself against a lawsuit would easily eat up all the money she is saving by forcing an employee to share a hotel room.

You can learn more at the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission’s website, eeoc.gov (search the keyword “harassment”).

(December 2011)