Sorry, sometimes you do have to be uncomfortable
QI work for a prominent classical music organization. I am the
A only non-White person on It is lonely to be the my team. I have tried to only non-White person raise awareness around in almost any situation. In having a structured equity, the workplace, this means diversity and inclusion that you and your White plan in place. I am the sole colleagues do not have the person on my team who same job. They get to focus has been vocal for change. solely on their work while,
I recently got into an argument all too often, you have to with a close colleague, do the work for which you who I trust and were hired and the work of who is White. I exclaimed diversity, equity and inclusion, that no one cared about a specialized field you diversity and inclusion at probably have no training our organization. She became in. I understand why you’re defensive and has trying to raise awareness of said in the past that she diversity, equity and inclusion does not like “making people (DEI) and make your uncomfortable” by discussing employer establish a structured these issues and plan. And I imagine that “this is the world it is very lonely being the of classical music.” I am only person who is willing growing tired of being to do this work. the only person doing the Unfortunately, there work and beginning to feel is little that we can do to resentful. What can I do make people care about to feasibly enact change, these issues. At some both with my colleagues point, you have to decide and at the institutional how long you’re going to do this extra work for colleagues who aren’t willing to meet you even halfway. Of course you feel resentful. This is an absurd situation and one that you should not have to deal with. As for your colleague, it is the height of privilege to be able to avoid the discomfort of discussing difficult issues. So much important work toward change happens in the uncomfortable moments where we are forced to confront the things that challenge us.
Your colleague asserted that “this is the world of classical music.” What does that even mean? People of color both create and consume classical music. I would suggest starting small with the change that you want to see. Perhaps you can organize programs for your colleagues that can help educate them about classical musicians and composers of color, like Scott Joplin, Florence Beatrice Price, Samuel Coleridge-Taylor and George Bridgetower, and contemporary artists like Lara Downes, Wynton Marsalis and Jessie Montgomery.
That said, you can do only so much, and frankly, you have done enough. You may well be surrounded by people who are unwilling or uninterested in living in the real world where diversity exists. If that’s the case, it could be that you need to move to an organization whose values are more aligned with yours.
Stress level at a 10
Q
I work for a nonprofit where I’ve been employed for most of the past 30-plus years. I’m a bit of a workaholic. A few weeks ago, my manager asked everyone at a meeting to say what our stress level is, on a 1-10 scale. I said the truth: 10. One week later, the manager’s theme for her morning email was time management: Basically, anyone who says she is busy or has too much work actually has poor time-management skills. I considered this to be a public shaming of me and one colleague who also selfreported a high level of stress. The email is not the only thing I don’t like about the manager, but it feels like the proverbial straw, the latest in a stream of disrespectful actions. Do all bosses do this? If I decide to stick it out until I’m eligible for Social Security, what’s the best approach?
— Anonymous, Madison, Wisconsin A
Your manager is passive-aggressive and has some toxic ideas about work culture. I don’t know that she was shaming you as much as she was judging you, which isn’t much better. But who cares what she thinks? You’re stressed out. Most people are. Your manager is just being petty. Ignore her silly provocations. You’ve been at your organization for more than 30 years. You can see the light at the end of the employment tunnel. You can and will get through this. If you have the energy for it, you can certainly look for new employment. Or you can just stick it out. You didn’t share how much longer you have to work to qualify for Social Security benefits, but I am guessing it’s fewer than 10 years. It’s time to figure out who you are beyond your work. You can be great at your job without being a workaholic. Keep doing your best, but find other things outside of work to put some of that intensity into. As I’ve written before in this column, the job will never love you. Do not invest the whole of your identity in what you do for a living because when the job refuses to love you back, when it lets you down, you’re left with nothing and you deserve much better.