Co-worker disparages hip-hop music
DEAR HARRIETTE >>
My white coworker is constantly talking down on hip-hop. This rubs me the wrong way because hip-hop is a predominantly Black genre. Am I right to view his loud disdain for the genre as a racial microaggression?
— Hip-Hop Lover
DEAR HIP-HOP LOVER >> I wouldn’t be so quick to call his comments a microaggression. He may truly not like hip-hop music in general. There are many genres of music, and people often feel strongly one way or the other about the different types.
Because you find his commentary offensive, you may want to challenge him. Ask him specifically what he dislikes about hip-hop. Get him to go into detail about his thoughts. When people speak in generalizations, it can seem like they are stereotyping.
Share what you like about hip-hop music. Bring up examples of artists you find interesting, and tell him why. Is it the beat, the storytelling, the styling, the videos? By bringing artists to life through your examples, you may be able to educate him about music he may simply be unfamiliar with. This may not get him to fall in love with the genre, but he may grow to understand what you value in it.
Tell him to check out the MSNBC talk show host Ari Melber. He is a straight-up hip-hop head. In defiance of stereotypes, Melber, a 40-year-old white guy, genuinely loves the genre and shines a light on it on a regular basis, often hosting hip-hop artists on his show.
Perhaps letting your co-worker know that all kinds of people like hiphop will get him to listen a little more closely.
DEAR HARRIETTE >> There are communal bathrooms in the dorm I just moved into at school. I’m a complete germaphobe. I just recently accepted the idea that I would be sharing a bathroom with a roommate — I didn’t consider the possibility that I’d be sharing a bathroom with more than one person. I don’t think I can handle sharing a bathroom with a whole floor of girls I don’t know. What should I do? — Germaphobe
DEAR GERMAPHOBE >> Like it or not, this is a reality of going to college and living on campus. Unless you can afford to get an apartment of your own, you will have to deal with the accommodations at your school.
To ease your concerns, keep a small cleaning kit with your toiletries. It can include tissue toilet covers and disinfectant wipes, so you can clean any surfaces you will need to come in contact with.
You will not win by trying to pressure your bathroommates into becoming as clean as you. Rather than chastising them when they don’t meet your personal standards, thank them when they do clean up after themselves.
I can’t say that you will get used to these living arrangements. Over time, though, it is likely that you will find a way to manage this difficult situation.
Harriette Cole is founder of DreamLeapers, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. Send questions to askharriette@ harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.