Hubby has secret life on Twitter

DEAR AMY >> I’ve been married for

23 years to a really mellow guy who had always been very private.

We haven’t had a good physical relationship in a decade because of his medical issues. I assumed he had just lost interest, and I almost gave up.

We seemed to be rounding the corner to a more loving relationship, but there was something nagging at me.

I noticed he was on his phone a lot. Last year, he created an account on Twitter.

He said he had no interest in chatting with people.

I decided to go on Twitter, and I found that he was sharing his life story with 75 random people.

His bio sounds like a dating site. He never mentions being married.

Then I noticed two females that he had one-onone dialogues with.

One seemed to ignore him, but with the other, they are in contact 8 to 12 times a day.

He sent her a meme of cartoon rabbits “doing it” on hump day and made some inappropriate comments.

He shared a lot of his private life, including things I didn’t even know he cared about.

This has created a huge issue for me.

He said she was just a random person and he didn’t even notice her photo or bio, which is quite sexual.

Am I making a big deal out of this?

It doesn’t help that these women are 20 years younger than I am.

— Twitter Widow

DEAR WIDOW >> Anyone can attach any avatar or picture to their profile on social media. (One of mine is of a giant donut.) Anyone can pose, pretend or create an alter ego, as your husband seems to have done.

Many people create “voices” on social media that might be unfamiliar to family members. It is a great space to try out jokes, express opinions or bring up matters that might surprise people who know you personally.

The “randomness” of the connection makes it seem like a safe space to create a version of yourself that is more assured than the flawed person people who know you see.

Your husband wants to flirt and to be flirted with.

Now that you have discovered this about him, I hope you can use this episode to encourage him toward more of a connection between the two of you.

DEAR AMY >> “Sick of It All” described their extreme isolation because of the pandemic. I totally disagree with your advice to “tiptoe” back into the world.

I am older with underlying health issues. I am extremely careful and will not risk being around unvaccinated people. I take walks with other vaccinated people, socialize outside and go to the library. — My Health Comes First

DEAR FIRST >> The things you are doing are exactly the kind of things I advised “Sick of It All” to do. You have tiptoed back into the world, and seem to be doing well.