Professional unable to take criticism
DEAR HARRIETTE »
I've observed that I find it challenging to cope with criticism, particularly in my professional sphere, even when it's meant to be constructive. How can I cultivate a more resilient approach to feedback, effectively separating personal emotions from my professional development? I'm eager to understand how to view criticism as a valuable tool for improvement rather than allowing it to demotivate me.
— Welcoming Feedback
DEAR WELCOMING FEEDBACK »
Imagine if you went through life with people only singing your praises. While you may flirt with the idea that this would be great, think again. You wouldn't have a clue as to when you should rethink your work. You would have no indication of the need for course correction or growth. Start thinking about feedback as a useful tool for personal and professional development.
You can take some control over your feelings about criticism by inviting it. After each project that you complete, check in with your boss to learn what they think worked well and what can be improved upon in the future. Take notes and don't forget. Consider the input as a gift that will help you to do the best job possible.
When you receive unsolicited feedback, take a breath, listen and ask yourself how this feedback can be valuable to you. Resist deflecting it and persecuting the messenger for daring to say something negative to you. Consider what's being said and how you can use it to strengthen your capabilities. When you change your attitude about feedback, it can become a tremendous asset to your development.
DEAR HARRIETTE »
I find myself in a challenging situation as a parent raising both a teenager and a toddler, where my toddler was not planned but has become a bundle of joy. The struggle to balance their distinct needs is overwhelming and with my reentry into the workforce, trivial responsibilities with my toddler are falling on my teenage daughter. This situation is the opposite of what I envisioned, having been a teenager myself who had to drag my younger siblings everywhere. Despite the financial strain, I'm contemplating whether squeezing a nanny into our tight budget would be a viable solution. Any advice on managing this family dynamic and finding a balance that doesn't compromise my teenage daughter's wellbeing and our family's financial well-being?
— Child Care
DEAR CHILD CARE » Thank your teenager often for all that she does to take care of your toddler. Even with extra help, a lot will continue to fall on her. Your gratitude is extremely important to help balance it all. Even though you are often tired, set aside oneon-one time with your teenager where you can be together. This will help you to learn what's going on in her life without being too pushy. You can share some of your stories about when you were helping with your younger siblings. Be honest about what you liked and what you didn't and thank her again for doing it even as you know sometimes she wishes she didn't have to do so.
As far as a nanny goes, do your research. Figure out what you can afford each week that will provide relief for everyone. You may only need to hire a babysitter for a few hours or consider sending your toddler to day care.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@ harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.