Relationship creates uneasy business partnership
QI lead a small software company in a niche industry. Our head of product and I shared a boss earlier in our careers. I considered him a mentor and friend, but she decidedly did not. Years after we all worked together, she shared that the two of them had an intimate relationship that did not end amicably.
They were both single and consenting adults, but she was younger and junior to him. She considers the relationship exploitative and unethical. She never told any superiors but is frustrated that he skirted accountability.
Now, our company has reason to explore a partnership with our former boss's new company. I have every reason to side with my employee — our old boss's behavior was inappropriate. But I still consider him a good person and a worthwhile partner. What is my obligation to my head of product? What is my obligation to my company? Should I refrain from exploring this new business relationship out of loyalty to her? If I think proceeding is in the business's interest, how should I approach my relationship with her?
A
— Anonymous
What is more important — developing a new business relationship with your former boss or maintaining a good relationship with your head of product? You are obligated to not put her in an uncomfortable situation and, frankly, to not put junior staff members in a situation in which they might be exploited by a known exploiter.
You should refrain from exploring this new business relationship, not merely out of loyalty but as an act of care for every woman in your organization. To be clear: Your former boss did not commit a crime. People have relationships in the workplace all the time. But when there is an imbalance of power in that relationship, it is a problem.
Many would argue that what happened between your former boss and your head of product was a personal situation that should not affect your current professional decisions. But engaging in a romantic relationship with a subordinate is predatory and unethical. You do not want to do business with someone who is and/or was predatory and unethical — which I think you already know.