Son braces for reaction to transgender fianceé

DEAR ABBY: I moved to the Philippines five years ago. While I was there I met “Emma.” After a few months, I realized I was in love with her, and last year we became engaged. I took her to meet my family. They loved her and supported our engagement.

I’m now living in the

States and she’s still in the Philippines waiting for her visa. Emma is transgender and I don’t know how to tell my family.

I love her and know I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but my dad is homophobic, and I know he won’t support my decision to marry a transgender woman.

My mother will also be disappointed because we won’t be able to have children together. I need your advice. What should I do?

FORBIDDEN LOVE IN MINNESOTA DEAR FORBIDDEN LOVE: You say that when you introduced Emma to your family they liked and accepted her. Because you did not tell them then that your fiancee was transgender, expect them to be surprised. That news will bring your father face to face with his homophobia.

As to your mother, even if Emma were not transgender, there’s no guarantee that Emma would be able to bear children.

In cases of infertility, couples sometimes decide to adopt or employ the help of a surrogate and an egg donor.

As a mature adult, the decision about whom you marry should be yours. Your parents’ disapproval should have nothing to do with it.

If and when you do give them the news, be prepared for a negative reaction. However, I see no reason why you feel you must tell them since they didn’t question her gender before.

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DEAR ABBY: Under what circumstances do you ask your adult offspring (still living at home, working, doing their own laundry, somewhat feeding themselves) to contribute money toward household expenses?

JUST WONDERING IN PENNSYLVANIA DEAR JUST WONDERING: At what point? I recommend you do it tonight!

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.