Dreaming in Arkansas — Small victories, daily victories

Most of the time nowadays, my heart is filled with joy because of Jesus, and I am learning to look at others through His eyes.

But sometimes people just irritate me.

I know without a doubt that without Jesus, I would go around wanting to knock the who’d-ofthought-it out of bullies, loud, obnoxious people as well as manipulators, gossips and other troublemakers.

Something that I said made a small group of people upset with me. Smart remarks were made but no one would say anything directly to me. I confessed that I have to look at everyone through Jesus’ eyes, but that just elicited a derogatory story about someone else that quoted scripture.

Bless their hearts; it occurred to me that they do not understand that if I didn’t look at them through Jesus’ eyes, I would call them out for their loud, obnoxious, immature and disruptive behavior every single time and not just the once. But because I do love Jesus, I am trying to become a better person and to learn to love others unconditionally. I do not wish to cause anyone uncomfortable moments. Well, not anymore. And I truly mean that. And because of that, I can be around these people without the slightest ounce of concern for what they think of me, but I can and will look for little ways to repair the situation.

The little victories are growing into bigger and more victories, but only when I submit daily to my Saviour. Left to my own devices, I am not a very nice person. I just want to be left alone to enjoy the life and when someone wrecks that peace for me, I get irritable.

In reality, if someone lies, I don’t want to have to keep my mouth shut or, when someone is just a hateful person, I want to show them just how hateful is done. Sometimes people are just too darn loud and I want to make them shut up. Drama queens really irk me. I know that no one wants to be lied to and I know that I am not

the only person in the world that wants loud, obnoxious people to just go away.

With each of my little victories, Jesus is leading me to a place where it is becoming easier to just let people who lie, lie. It is getting easier to let people that are loud and obnoxious to just be loud and obnoxious without me getting emotionally invested.

We all deal socially with other people in a variety of ways. Some read books on the subject, some just walk away while others confront liars, troublemakers and obnoxious people. I have done all three and none of it works as well as looking at the person and deciding that God made that person and they belong to Him.

End of story.

There is usually a really good reason people act the way they do. For one thing, we as people are not trained in ways to love others, we are just told to love others. Same goes for social skills. We are told to behave in a certain way, but there is not a lot of practical advice as to how.

Some of us come from broken homes, broken relationships and broken hearts. Selfish people usually don’t realize they are selfish. I know sometimes I am looking at a situation, thinking about how the drama is affecting me when I should be looking to see in what way can I serve this person. It is hard to swallow when God convicts you that you are selfish.

Realizing that I should be acting in this kinder way is a small victory. I search for these victories on a daily, sometimes moment to moment, basis. In my previous life, I had developed into quite a character. I don’t say that with pride. I say that in all sincerity in giving God credit in teaching me to be a better person. I am no longer as concerned with how the drama is hurting me, but how the drama is coming from a place of hurt in the person causing it.

Small victories.

Daily victories.

They are promises of more of God’s grace in creating a new creature in Christ. This is scary to say out loud because we all know that just when we think we have it going on, something happens.

However, I know if it does, I will earn some really cool victories.