Our world needs more humor
It seems we have been bombarded by so much bad news
(via media) over the past months, it is no wonder that many of us have suffered bouts of depression.
I am praying for a brighter outlook for the following year and I hope to try to give us all a “jump start” in that direction through today’s column.
America needs more humor. I really believe that. Laughter makes us feel better! We’re told fewer facial muscles are employed in smiling than in frowning. So, besides making us feel better, smiling saves us energy, too. But a good old deep belly laugh is what is needed for the direst of times. It’s the type of laughter that erupted from Phyllis Diller – a magical panacea for a troubled world.
If you haven’t enjoyed a good “belly laugh” lately, go to your computer and pull up some episodes of former sitcoms that brought us such laughter. Lucille Ball making a commercial for the new miracle drug ,“Vita meat ave ge gam.”S he had to do so many “takes”she was totally intoxicated by the time she finished the last “dose.” Laugh again at some of Johnny Carson’s interviews … especially those he held with the famous zoo keeper, Jack Hanna. Poor Johnny was on the receiving end of all types of mischief a monkey or ferret could bestow on a human being. If you are in need of a bigger laugh, watch Tim Conway as a new dentist treating his first patient (Harvey Korman) in the episode “The Dentist” from the “Carol Burnett Show.”
Two of my guaranteed giggle favorites are “Laugh-In” and “Hollywood Squares.” Both of these shows were based on downright silly slapstick.
Week after week on "Laugh-In," Judy Carnes would be tricked into saying “Sock it to me!” followed by a gush of water in her face. The old man on the park bench ‘coming on’ to the prudish old maid wearing the hairnet. Remember how she always hit him with her purse at the insult? Remember Edith Ann’s “And THAT’S the truth” and Flip Wilson in drag declaring, “The devil made me do it!” were trademark lines. There was also the weekly “Flying Fickle of Fate Award’ and Sammy Davis marching on stage with the announcement, “Here Come De Judge; Here Come de Judge!”
When Melissa was a tiny baby, I remember rocking her to sleep while watching “Hollywood Squares.” Nine varying celebrities appeared in lighted window boxes. Three boxes to a row, the three rows were stacked on top of each other to appear as a Tic-TacToe puzzle board on your screen. A celebrity was chosen by the contestant and a question was posed by the host, Peter Marshall. My favorite celebrity appeared in the center square – Paul Lynde. I remember a couple of his answers vividly and they still make me laugh.
Question: “If you are driving along the New Jersey Parkway and see a huge Mack Truck bearing down on you, what do you do?”
Paul Lynde, with his characteristic shake of the head : “HONK if you love Jesus.”
Question: “Do female frogs ever croak?”
Paul Lynde: “They do if you hold their little heads under water long enough.”
Do any of you still own a tape of one of Lewis Grizzard’s stand-up routines? He’d put a big smile on your face. He was a columnist for the Atlanta Journal and one of my favorite humorists. Had he been writing this piece, he’d tell you transplants from the “Nawth” that he was glad you finally came to your senses; became tired of the frigid temps, ice and snow that hounded you six months of the year; held a garage sale where you sold your heaviest clothing, ski racks and snow blowers and headed SOUTH to “God’s country.” Remember how he always said he was proud to be “American by birth and Southern by the grace of God?” Granted, he told a lot of jokes about “Yankees.” He said you all talked funny and didn’t appreciate our “Southan’ thang.” I don’t want to offend any readers from the Northern states, but I’ll include just one of his quotes directed at you …
“The idiot up north who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collard greens.”
Another classic Grizzard story: “My Momma always asked me the same thing before I left to drive back to Atlanta, ‘Lewis, Are you wearing clean under drawers – just in case you’re in a bad wreck?’ “Momma,” I’d tell her, “Momma, if I’m in a bad wreck, my under drawers ain’t gonna’ be clean anyway.”
Now, you can always resort to a favorite joke to bring you laughter. This is one of mine:
David received a parrot as a gift. Later, he found it to have a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. The parrot was abusive in language and, at the least, RUDE. David tried hard to change the parrot — he used kind, polite words, soft music and anything to set a good example. Finally, with nothing working, he tried putting this humid-weatherbred bird in his freezer to teach it a lesson. For a few minutes he heard squawking and kicking and screaming of bad words … then nothing. Frightened he might have killed the bird, he opened the freezer and the parrot stepped out on David’s extended arm and said, “I believe I’ve offended you with my speech. I’ll endeavor to be more polite from now on. But, TELL ME – what’d that chicken do to get her neck cut off?” Readers, face the world with laughter today!