Danger of COVID is not a game of Risk

DEARAMY » Recently I was alarmed to see on Facebook that a fewfriends had attended a huge gathering where people were not following CO

VID safety guidelines.

I have been meeting with friends (only outside) this summer, but as the weather cools, I amwondering if it will be safe to have a few people over for, say, a game night. Is there any polite way to ask potential invitees if they have been in any large, unmasked groups recently?

Or should I just give up on a social life until a vaccine is available?

— Careful in Colorado

DEARCAREFUL » It is wisest to stay up to date regarding CDC and your state and local guidelines, which frequently change.

Your question, however, is about how to ask people a very simple, common sense, and straightforward question: “Have you been to any gatherings where you or others didNOT follow COVID safety guidelines and where you might possibly have been exposed to the virus?”

Given that people — even people you are close to— might qualify lying about this as a “social” or “little white lie,” and given the quite irrational but human tendency to bend or dismiss the truth to avoid embarrassment, I don’t think you can rationally expect a truthful answer to this question from someone who violated guidelines, medical recommendations, and plain old common sense.

In short, the person foolish enough to attend such an event and not voluntarily quarantine and be tested afterward — well, that person is also more likely to lie about it later.

In my opinion, it is NOT wise to host an inside inperson game night or other gathering until you have the “all clear.” Parlor games, especially, usually involve sitting close together, touching and sharing cards or game pieces, and excited exclamations.

Wewho live with long winters naturally pine for ways to socialize through the chill, but our patience will be rewarded if we continue to do everything possible to stop the spread of this pandemic.

I urge you to look into playing games online with these friends. Classics like Monopoly, Risk, and Clue are all available to play online — and word games such as Scrabble and Words with Friends are fun to play virtually.

DEARAMY » Thank you so much for publishing the question from “Starving and Fat.” I’ve been struggling withmy own eating disorder lately. When you said that the stress of the pandemic and the social isolation and job challenges has caused dormant issues to resurface, I decided tomake an appointment with my therapist.

— Struggling

DEARSTRUGGLING » Recovery is an everyday triumph. Recovery from an eating disorder is especially challenging because it is impossible to eliminate and avoid the source of your biggest challenge, which is food. Relapse may always be just around the corner, but so is recovery. “Starving and Fat’s” brave choice to reveal this has inspired a lot of people (like you) to seek help.