College debt could be repaid with a ticket

DEAR AMY >> I paid for a large portion of my favorite nephew’s college expenses (he’s also my godson). I was happy to do this because I love him and want to support him.

His mother (my sister) has told me that he has asked to only have immediate family at his college graduation ceremony and dinner this coming spring, which means I would not be included.

I know that as an adult (he’s 23) he has a right to choose who he wants to celebrate his graduation with, but can I at least tell him how hurt I am by this?

Can I ask that I also be included (and that I will leave my husband and daughter at home)?

I do feel somewhat “entitled” to be there to help celebrate a college degree he was able to receive debt-free in large part because of my generosity.

My sister religiously reads your column and would greatly appreciate your input.

— Hurt Aunt

DEAR HURT >> Your sister should have strongly advocated for you to be included in this graduation ceremony. Why didn’t she?

At this point, you should contact your nephew to say, “Your mother has told me that you are only inviting immediate family members to your graduation ceremony. I hope you understand that as someone who invested heavily in financing your education, I would very much like to be included in celebrating your official launch into the rest of your life.

I know tickets can be scarce but I am hoping you can secure one extra ticket so I can attend your graduation. I would be very disappointed to miss it.”

DEAR AMY >> I would like to know what can be said to a co-worker who comes to work sick.

There must be a polite way to tell this person to go home.

It isn’t fair to other coworkers to be put at risk by one inconsiderate person.

DEAR JP >> The trauma of the pandemic should have sensitized all of us to the impact our illnesses can have on others.

If you encounter a coworker who is obviously ill, you could say to them, “I can tell that you don’t feel well; I’m worried about catching whatever you have. Wouldn’t it be best if you went home?”

If you don’t feel able to do this, you could contact your supervisor and ask if your co-worker could be sent home.

Managers should make it explicitly clear that any employees who are sick should not come to work.

This co-worker might feel financial or other professional pressure to drag themselves in, but their illness could have a longerterm negative effect on the workforce.