Online match might be age-related mismatch

DEAR AMY >> I am 35. About three months ago, I matched with someone on a dating app. This person listed their age as 24.

We really hit it off. We would chat for hours every day.

I brought up the fact of our age difference. My match said it didn’t bother them.

Although they were far away, we decided to meet. I decided to make a trip of it and stayed for a few days. We spent the whole time together and had a wonderful time.

Our connection grew deeper, and we continued to chat every day for hours.

We have the same sense of humor, philosophical and spiritual beliefs, political views, and ideas about what we want in a relationship and in life. During our chats I never really noticed the age gap.

Well, my match recently revealed to me that they lied about their age.

This person is not 24, but 20 years old.

My match has accepted responsibility, apologized, and accepted any possible consequences.

I was able to forgive, and I can easily move on.

My main qualm now is the very real social stigma associated with the 15-year age gap, especially with this person being so young.

My heart tells me to just continue. I really care about this person, and my feelings are reciprocated. This is not some fling for either of us.

But I worry about what my family and friends will think of me. Your thoughts?

— Concerned Lover

DEAR CONCERNED >>

I wouldn’t want to date a 20-year-old (even when I was 20), mainly because I once was one — and I’ve helped to raise several.

Inflating your age by a full quarter of your total lifespan is exactly the sort of choice 20-yearolds make, but I give this person credit for coming clean about this. (You should ask to see a driver’s license.)

It’s natural for anyone to want their friends and family to approve of a serious relationship, but at the end of the day only you two need to resolve the question of whether this feels right to you. And if it does feel right — really right — then you’ll still seek approval, but it won’t be a gamechanger if you don’t receive it.

DEAR AMY >> I am done with your insistence on using “they/them” to signify a singular pronoun. It is so annoying, and you’re just pandering to “wokeness.”

DEAR GRAMMARIAN >> “They/them” is used when a gender is not specified.

I love a good pandering as much as the next person, but in this case, I am following standard journalistic practice. Get used to it.