`Love doesn't exist': Immigrants defy forced marriage abroad
From the day of her birth in Pakistan, Iram Aslam was betrothed to a cousin 17 days older. But to the young woman, who emigrated as a teenager to this Italian farm town on the Po River plain, the cousin felt like a brother. So on a visit to her homeland, she played for time, telling her aunts she wasn't ready for marriage.
“They did everything possible to make me marry him,” said Aslam, now 29. She said she told them: “`I don't want to marry him and please don't ask me anymore.'”
Her family, in both Italy and Pakistan, kept scheming to have her wed a man of their choice — and their caste. Aslam dismissed around 30 potential husbands.
“In the end, I made everyone angry, and no one talks to me anymore,” she said of her relatives in Pakistan.
In two murder trials this month, Italian prosecutors are seeking justice for Pakistani immigrant women allegedly killed because they refused marriages imposed by their parents. The cases highlight differences, often misconstrued as religionbased, between centuriesold immigrants' cultural traditions and Western values prizing individualism.
“I liked another person, wanted another one,” Aslam said of her own situation. “But they didn't want it, because among us, love doesn't exist.”
Love is viewed “as a sin,” she added, her thick, wavy brown hair covered by a multicolored headscarf. She asked that her face not be fully shown for fear of further antagonizing Pakistani neighbors in Guastalla, a town of 15,000 where they are the dominant immigrant community.
To escape marriage-obsessed relatives, Aslam went for a time to live in Germany.
But there was no escape for 18-year-old Saman Abbas.
Like Aslam, she emigrated as a teenager from Pakistan to an Italian farm town, Novellara, 11 kilometers (seven miles) from Guastalla.
In what appears to be an identity card photo taken shortly after her arrival, Abbas' face is framed by a black hijab, or headscarf. But the young woman quickly embraced Western ways, appearing in social media posts with her hair tumbling out from under a bright red headband. In one, she and her Pakistani boyfriend were shown kissing on a street in the regional capital, Bologna.
According to Italian investigators, that kiss enraged Abbas' parents, who wanted their daughter to marry a cousin in Pakistan.
In November, her body was dug up in the ruins of a Novellara farmhouse. She had last been seen alive a few hundred yards away on
April 30, 2021, in surveillance camera video as she walked with her parents on the watermelon farm where her father worked. A few days later, her parents caught a flight from Milan to Pakistan.
Abbas had reportedly told her boyfriend she feared for her life, because she refused to be married to an older man in her homeland.
An autopsy revealed a broken neck bone, possibly caused by strangulation.
An uncle and a cousin were extradited from France, and another cousin from Spain. They are now on trial in Reggio Emilia, the provincial capital with jurisdiction over Novellara, accused of Abbas' murder.
Also indicted is her father,
Shabbir Abbas, arrested in his village in eastern Punjab. The whereabouts of her mother, who is also charged, are unknown.
A lawyer for her father, Akhtar Mahmood, told Italian state television that the young woman's family is innocent. He disputed prosecutors' allegations, contending that she had wanted to return with her family to Pakistan to flee Western ways.
Asked about Italy's request for Shabbir Abbas' extradition, Pakistan's ambassador to Italy, Ali Javed, told The Associated Press that the Pakistani government would “not hesitate” to do so. However, Italy has no extradition treaty with Pakistan.