Cal­cu­late the cost of pleas­ing

First For Women - - Insight -

To fight the urge to ac­qui­esce, ask your­self, Is her dis­ap­proval so un­bear­able that I must sac­ri­fice my­self to re­duce the pos­si­bil­ity she’ll be mad? You may worry your neigh­bor will be hurt, but weigh­ing that against the toll of more fa­vors re­veals the price you pay to please. “Peo­ple ac­cept bound­aries if they’re de­liv­ered sim­ply,” says Burn. So it works best to plainly say, “No, I can’t cat-sit.” “Even when peo­ple are miffed, they get over it al­most al­ways. You can be a good per­son and still say no; oth­ers can han­dle it.”

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