The gift of an open heart
Ask, “Who else is feeling this way right now?”
Sometimes when we uncover what’s making us uncomfortable, it’s not coming from a pesky core belief, it’s just life. Sometimes we feel failed or alone or scared or sad or angry or guilty…not because something hidden has hijacked us, but simply because we’re facing a real and current difficulty. If we don’t push it away or distract ourselves, how then do we find real relief?
“Whenever we’re suffering, we tend to add a second layer to that suffering by judging it,” explains Dr. Ferretti. We consider ourselves bad or weak or somehow failed for having an emotion like loneliness, fear, anger or even grief. Thus, our suffering is compounded.
A prayer practice that can relieve both layers of suffering is sending out loving intentions for all those who are suffering in the same way you are. “I’ve adapted an approach to suffering based on the Buddhist tradition that can work well for people of all faiths,” says Dr. Ferretti. “It’s particularly compatible with the Christian belief that holds that extending compassion for those who are suffering is a way of extending compassion to Jesus Himself.” (Matthew 25: 31–46)
To try it out for yourself, set aside five minutes and sit quietly. Close your eyes, let your surface thoughts fall away and bring to mind and heart what’s causing your suffering, like,
I feel so lonely…I feel so isolated and alone. As your feelings rise to your surface, imagine how many in this world at this moment are feeling the exact same thing. Send your heart out to them, wishing them well, like, May all those feeling loneliness right now experience a sense of lightening, of greater ease, of greater wholeness.
“It’s like this brilliant antidote to your own sense of separation and isolation to join in with others at a heart level and send your well wishes for healing and connection,” says Dr. Ferretti. You may join with God in solidarity in this prayer as well as your neighbor. “This approach goes right to the heart—you’ll feel a lifting of your own uncomfortable feelings immediately. Real and lasting relief.” The more you open your heart in this way, the more joy and love you’ll attract.