TO BYPASS A TRUST BREAKER

Stick to the surface

A friend of yours always promises to help and never comes through, betraying confidences and bailing on plans— yet you keep giving her chances.

“Many toxic people have perfected the art of seducing us into trusting them,” notes Forward. “When they start to show their true selves, you begin to blame yourself and twist yourself into a pretzel to try to make it okay.”

Though it’s tempting to appeal to this person and describe how they’ve hurt you, Forward suggests a safer response: “If you keep this person in your life, it’s best not to open up to them or share intimate details,” she explains. “Think of two people sitting together, drinking tea, discussing nonvulnerable topics: ‘I saw a wonderful movie the other night. I just read this great book.’” It may feel uncomfortable to stick to the surface, but it’s your best bet if you can’t completely avoid this person, Forward adds. “You never get into anything deep, so you’re not telling them anything they could use to disappoint you or break your trust.”