Speak up—to the right allies

“Telling others about your experience will make you feel

stronger,” says Gretchen. She advises confiding in more than one trusted friend. Lawyers, therapists or ministers can also serve as sounding boards and offer advice. If you’re harassed at work, human resources (HR) managers are another option, though Gretchen cautions things can get complicated when HR employees have to investigate the people who pay their salaries.

“Be clear-eyed about the power dynamic in your company. If there is a process for filing complaints, follow it to the letter.”